Beyond Hate

Twenty

"That's not even an excuse Ene. This is a big deal. You were kissing him. Your buttons were popped." I snapped into the phone.

My elder sister placed a bowl of ice cream on the table in front of me and I grinned while listening to Ene speak. "Look I know. But believe me it just happened. I was there to tell him he needed to stop trying to get me to say him. I didn't mean for us to just kiss. Look —"

I scooped the chocolate part. "I'm not looking o. Just figure out how you'll apologize to Mona. If this is worth apologizing for sef. This is just plane cheating."

"I didn't mean for it to happen. It was a mistake —"

"It was a choice. You made a choice." I snapped. "how could you even do that?!"

"You're judging me and you're not even hearing my side of the story. I didn't want this, but he was persistent."

"You didn't even tell me anything was going on."

"Well same way you never tell me anything these days. You've grown a bond with Mona and it's so annoying." Ene spoke, I could feel her hurt. "I didn't mean to kiss Lanre. I don't even know when he did it. I was caught off guard. And things got out of hand."

"You have feelings for him." I laughed, not believing what I was hearing. How could she let herself fall for him, knowing fully well about Mona.

"Maybe I do, but —"

"OK, bye." I scoffed. I was tired of hearing her talk. She was trying to defend herself but my ears were bleeding already.

"Zara —"

"Do you even accept that what you did was wrong? Sneaking around with him, making Mona talk about all her pains and how he rarely regards her? Do you even feel guilty that she caught you guys?"

"of course I do —"

"Good. Because you should!" I snapped. "you should feel bad for what you did. It was a bad thing. You hurt your friend. Not just any regular person. Ene," I started, my anger turning to sadness. "I know you're a good person and there is an explanation for all this. Just talk to Mona. I think what you did affected her more."

There was a long stretch of silence before ENE whispered. "I will. Thank you."

"Yeah. Later,"

I pulled the phone from my ear before she could respond. What Ene did was bad, and there was no justification. At all.

I picked the bowl of Ice-cream Ije had placed down grinning as I stopped some more.

"So, who back stabbed who in that your small group." She wiggled her brows. I laughed but I went ahead and gave her a full gist.

***

Christmas had a ritual. Everyone was often excited for it. Even my mom was. Jerome had been sending me a "hey" text on Whatsapp for the past days and I have deliberately left him on read.

There was really no reason to reply him. He was Tobi's best friend, and kissing him had been a mistake. No matter how good the kiss was, it was still a mistake.

Christmas had a fun spirit. My mom was the most excited for this holiday. She got to take a break from the bank and hang out with her girls. It was always fun to hang out with my mom. She usually had the whole young mom vibe going for her.

That particular day, she decided silver bird cinema would be the plug. We awoke early, with Ije making sure to announce to us all that it was Christmas. She went ahead to cook varieties of food. Rice – Jollof and Fried, Ofe nsala. It reminded me that Ije was a terrific cook.

"Merry Christmas!" My mom shouted as she emerged from her room. She had on black pumps and a knee length gown shirt.

We were all dressed to go out, all except Ije. My mom immediately told her to go get dressed. Which she did, after much reluctance. While she got dressed, I got busy on my phone. Jerome sent me a message again, hi's and hey's but I still left him on read. I wondered what I would even say to him.
After a minute, he sent me a voice message. My heart beat faster than usual. I pressed my lips in a thin line and left WhatsApp. I was not ready to hear from him. I knew that Mona had said something about giving him a chance, but I was so uncertain. Plus while we were all scolding Ene, I was beginning to wonder if I was any different at all. I was giving Toby signals and yet, I kissed his best friend.
"Ngwa, Nne, let's go." Mom said, walking into the living room. I stood up immediately and followed.

We arrived at the cinema a few minutes past one. Because it was Christmas, it was bubbling. People were there, carton characters, the entire place was decorated with green and red ruffles, Christmas trees at each end of the hallway, the walls, adorned with shimmering lights. It was absolutely beautiful.
My mom asked Ije and I to pose for pictures. We did. Then, we proceeded to get something to eat. While we sat and enjoyed the holiday spirit.
We were to watch a movie. Mom insisted that she would pick the movie we would see and we all agreed. I decided to get the popcorn while mom got the tickets.
"Zara?"
I creased my brows and turned. To my surprise, Betty stood there in a red jumpsuit, her smile was broad. I was excited to see someone from my school. That was rare.
"Betty!"
They hugged slightly. I was not sure I considered Betty her friend, but still...
"Are you here to see a movie?"
I nodded. "Yeah..."
Ije walked up to us then. "Hey,"
A noise at the other end of the hall was disrupting. But I ignored it and said to my sister. "My friend... Betty. Betty, my sister, Ije."
They both waved at each other. The noise attracted me again. I groaned.
"What is going on there sef?"
Ije shrugged. "Kiss Daniel."
Betty's eyes widened. "What? Zara we have to take a selfie with him."
"I'm not really..." I trialed off as Betty pulled my hand. It was so quick I took no notice. I sent an apologetic glance towards my sister. Ije smiled and nodded.
We ran forward, and began moving in the crowd. Betty was sneaky. She shoved people, moved under people, pushed hard and eventually made it to the front. She was brutal. All I did was follow her wide eyed. I was in shock. Perhaps I had expected it from Betty, but still... seeing her first band brutal was scary. We eventually made it to Kiss Daniel and moved over the barrier, after they were allowed by the security detail. We took the selfie with him and moved out. I was panting by the time all was said and done.
Betty was laughing. "Oh my god. That was fun."
I gripped my chest. "Fun?"
Betty nudged me. "Adrenaline is good some times."
I laughed. "Betty you are scary. How you moved through  the crowd."
"Not my first time."
"Very obvious." I  laughed.
Betty held up her phone and mine. " Let me send the pictures."
My shoulders sagged. "I left my sister behind. You have to walk with me to the other side."
"No problem."
I left Betty with my phone and walked forward. I made my way towards the line for popcorn and looked around for my sister. Had she gone? Was mom waiting for me? I was terrified that she had gone to my mom and they were waiting. My mom would have been very angry with me. I turned to Betty. She was way behind. I wondered if she was not done sending pictures. Was it not Xender she was using?
I walked up to her. As I approached and  said. "Betty, you done?"
Betty looked up and smiled. "Yeah... yeah."
I stood before her, but my gaze wandered. " Did you not come with anyone?"
Betty was still focused on the phone. "Yes. My brother. "
"Oh. Ok."
Just then, I saw my mom and Ije making their way towards me, but their eyes were looking around. They were looking for me. I began to wave. "Mommy!"
They looked my way sharply. They had heard my voice. Betty handed me my phone then. "All done."
I smiled at her and hugged her. "See you later? "
Betty chuckled. "Later is school. Bye!"
I walked over to my mom who was fuming and cringed when she eyed me.
"You did not know we were waiting?"
I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry Mum. I was just with my friend."
She sighed and jerked her head. " let's go."

I know! It's been a year and some. 🥺 I'm so sorry. But I hope to finish this baby this year. Love!