A Night Of Drunken Love

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kate was seated at the edge of her bed, reading the note he left, over and over again. "I just figured it out. I know now. It was all a lie. Goodbye Kate."

Tears were rolling down her eyes, he'd put the pieces together, he realized it, and he left. She fell back on her bed, curled herself into her pillow, and sobbed.

She remembered the conversation they had last night after they had sex and how she was just about to tell him the truth about his declaration of love at the cemetery, and he had interrupted her with a kiss.

At that moment, he was so oblivious to the seriousness in her eyes, at her attempt to tell him. But when he had kissed her, she didn't want him to stop.

In her drunken state, she wanted to hold on to him. And she knew if she told him then, he would lash out, he would be angry, he would not forgive her easily for a lie like that. So she had decided at that moment to keep it a secret a little longer.

She had never for once thought that he could wake up the next morning and put the pieces together. But he did.

And now, he was hurt, she was sure he must be angry, and he was gone. Kate's pillow was already wet with tears. She reached out to her phone and hit speed dial, she needed to fix this, she needed to talk to him, she wanted him to know, that she was sorry, for lying to him, for hiding it so long, for keeping him away. They needed to talk. Soon.

She waited for him, listening to the ringing, but he cut the call. She then began to type a text 'Castle, I'm sorry, please talk to me'

she deleted the message and typed again, 'Castle, what happened last night was…'

she deleted it again, letting out a frustrated sigh.

She finally typed a cliché "Castle, we need to talk" and hit send.

She got up then and got into a pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. She needed to get some food into her stomach. She walked into her kitchen and found a mug of coffee ready for her on the counter. She smiled.

He made her coffee before he left.

She felt so bad for asking him to leave now. She couldn't help but wonder if he thought that she regretted their night of passionate love making. She really needed to talk to him soon. She needed to tell him how much she cherished their night; how she loved the way he worshipped her body. She wanted him to know, that what they felt last night was real, every tiny bit of love she expressed to him was true. She prayed he didn't think that was a lie too.

It was afternoon now, and castle was still unreachable. She had called gates and informed her she wouldn't be coming in today. She was feeling too unwell to be at the precinct today.

She had waited all morning for a reply from Castle, or at least for him to call her back. She tried his phone again, and this time, she knew he must have switched it off. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to see him. She quickly got dressed and walked out of her apartment, keys in hand.

Before she knew it, she was pounding at his door. She had knocked thrice now, but he had not moved to open the door. She tried once again. "Castle, I know you're in there, please, I need to talk to you." She was desperate to see him now.

Worry was beginning to fill her heart. What could he be doing in there? Was he alright?

She was just about to push that door open, when he pulled it open himself.

She looked at him then, and she wanted to cry. He looked miserable, like a kid whose candy had been stolen, like a teenage boy who'd just been dumped.

"What do you want?" cold as ice, came his words. And she already had tears in her eyes...

"Castle, you have to understand..."

"Kate, I don't want to hear anything. Please, just leave me alone, you've said all that you needed to last night"

"no castle, please, just... let me come in... We could sit and talk this through… I swear… I need to talk this out with you, just give me a chance to explain"

she was pleading now. He stood still for a minute, deciding if he should let her in or not. He finally moved from the doorway and into his study.

Kate took that as a sign for her to follow him in. she closed the door after entering his study, and then looked at him again, he was pouring himself a drink.

"Castle, you just woke up with a horrible hangover…"

"Don't! Don't try to tell me what's good for me and what's not. I've had enough of your false care"

"False care, Castle what are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter; you came here to get something off your chest, now do it, and leave me alone to handle the pain. I'm not a child. I can handle my liquor"

"Castle… Rick, I made a mistake. I should have come clean to you from the start. If I had told you sooner, none of this would have happened"

"Kate, stop beating around the bush and just admit it"

"Admit what?"

"That you don't love me, that you never came close to having feeling for me! It was all a lie, a way to not make me feel embarrassed that I love you and you don't have the same feelings for me. "

Kate looked at him confused. "Castle...what are you…"

"You could never love someone like me, and so you just made me believe that you couldn't remember anything I said at the cemetery. And you thought it would help, but you know what Kate? By stringing me along that way, you only made it worse!"

"Castle... listen..."

"No! Now you listen Kate, I'm not a child okay. I can handle being rejected. You should have told me the truth. You should have been honest with me, and I wouldn't have let myself fall harder for you.

But no, you lied to me, and I thought I still had a chance, so I came back when you asked, I followed you around some more, I risked my life with you some more, and had I known I was risking my heart so badly at that time, I wouldn't have fallen for your little game."

Kate had tears rolling down her cheeks now at his outburst.

"You played me Kate, you pulled me around like I'm some kind of rag doll, how could you? And last night, what I gave you, it was all so real. I made love to you, okay, I know we were drunk, but the love i gave you was real, true, honest. And now, when I think about it, it must have been just sex to you. Just plain lust. And nothing more."

Kate was shaking her head now, trying to tell him that that was not true. But words were not forming on her lips. She had hurt him so badly!

"Because you don't love me the way I love you."