A Night Of Drunken Love

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kate had now stepped forward to where castle stood. And she just crushed herself to him. Holding on tight to his body. Her arms clinging to the fabric of his shirt on his back, her cheek against his chest, tears soaking through his shirt.

"Castle... no… no… that's not true."

"Kate, you have to go…"

Castle was making no move to hold her, to touch her.

And that made Kate's body shiver with fear and pain and sorrow. She finally looked up to him, and held his face in her hands,
"Castle, you have to listen to me…"

he was avoiding looking into her eyes. She spoke.

"Castle, I was afraid I was not good enough for you. I heard you tell me you love me, and I wanted to be with you after I came through from surgery, but I was wounded. Emotionally. I was scarred. I still had so many things going on in my life and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to be everything that you want me to be at that moment. So I decided to pretend I didn't hear you until I knew I was at a place in my mind where I wanted to be, where I knew I was good enough to be loved by you, and to love you.

And I know it was a horrible decision. But Castle, ever since that day, I've been wanting to come clean with you. I've been trying to fix myself up for you"

Castle was looking at her now, "Kate…"

"let me finish, and when I do, I will walk out of here and never hurt you this way again, I promise"

he shook his head, but she continued,

"last night, when you told me that you love me, again, I was so close to coming clean with you about this filthy secret I've been keeping… but it scared me to think that you'd hate me for lying to you, and in that moment, in my bed, with you, the last thing I wanted was for you to walk out on me. So I hid it back in it's safe, and I let you love me… but now here's the important part Rick, you have to know, none of what happened last night was a lie."

She pulled him to sit with her on the couch, and held his hand tight.

"When I kissed you last night Rick, it was a kiss of love. Everything I did last night was out of pure love for you."

She was looking into his eyes now...

"and I know it might be too late to say this now Rick, but I've been working so long on fixing myself to be good enough to give this to you, to show you, to tell you… and I need to say it even though you must be feeling the exact opposite right now… I love you Rick… I've loved you for so long and I just wish I could have said it earlier, I just wish I knew what pain I was putting you through."

She was sobbing again now..

"Castle, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I did this to you… I've been a complete fool and if I had known that this would lead us to all this, I would have been wiser. I'm sorry Rick, God! I love you so much!"

Castle pulled her into his arms, and she sobbed bitterly, "Rick, I need you in my life, I can't live without you. I've had dreams, dreams about my future, and you were a part of all of them. And I so badly want to make them come true…"

A long 2 minutes had passed until one of them finally spoke.

"Maybe it's not too late for us Kate"

she looked up at him, her eyes filled with hope, but red rimmed from the crying. He wiped her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs and continued "maybe, we can still make this work."

She nodded at him… he looked at her lips… and back at her eyes again, "it was all just a horrible mix of many misunderstandings. But it's not too late to fix us." he paused.
"Say it again"

A small smile crept onto her lips, and she knew exactly what he wanted to hear her say. "I love you Rick"

and he kissed her softly. It was his way of saying they would still work out, he'd forgiven her, and they could be together. They would have to work through their insecurities, Castle was still a little hurt, but he could already feel his heart healing a little as they kissed. They would be alright soon. He could tell.

She pulled away and moved so that she could straddle his lap, she ran her hand through his hair and said "thank you… for being such a good man. i sometimes wonder what i did to deserve you." she paused and traced a line along the side of his face, admiring her ruggedly handsome writer. he held her hand, and kissed that sweet spot on her wrist.

"What are you thinking about Kate?"

"I want to make it up to you."

he smiled, that sweet smile that made his eyes crinkle and shine like a little kid who'd just been given a treat.

"hmmm, it'll take a lot, but you can start by refreshing my memory about last night. Now that we're sober…"

She didn't wait for him to complete his sentence, her mouth was on his, her tongue seeking entrance, hands making love to his soft hair.
His hands had crept up her shirt to feel her warm skin…

She pressed herself to him, body language for: "I'm all yours, now don't waste a single minute... have your way with me already!"

And as the afternoon sun shone bright in the sky, the Castle loft was soon filled with sounds of pleasure from a love-sick couple that just couldn't get enough of one another.
Make-up sex? Anger-sex? Call it whatever you want! One thing's for sure, they were creating LOVE.