Just. Survive. Somehow.

Chapter 4: Crowded Corridors and False Hope.

Faith's P.O.V. -

I woke up the following day feeling more alive than I have in the 19 years of being on this planet. Lukas was purely the whole reason for this unfamiliar yet unbelievably refreshing feeling.

For the first time ever, I woke up and actually made an effort with my appearance due to the hope of catching his attention rather than having to accidentally run him over in the process.  Brushing the excess powder of make-up away from my face, I stared curiously at the reflection staring back at me within the mirror. "One day, you will be enough for someone". I breathed out a sigh of sadness and then gathered my books ready for school.

Pulling up to the school gates I felt confident, something I had never experience before today. I mean I had always pretended to act like I had all my shit held tightly together but today I felt truly on top of the world. "Okay Faith, you got this" I mumbled words of encouragement to myself before pushing through to the school front doors and into a sea full of judgemental teens.

"Is that Faith Lewison?!" "Ew, what a slag!" "Who does she think she is?" 

I laughed in response to the groups of girls gasping and glaring at the 'new and improved' Faith. I was not phased whatsoever because their opinions simply did not matter to me, only Lukas'.

The bell sounded making my corridor search for Lukas' approval become delayed and forcing my reroute to science for first period. I was anxious to see him after our friendly conversation last night but sadly my anxiety was forced to brew until fourth period when the boys and girls had a joint volleyball game within the gym.  As I wondered into the girls changing rooms, I was greeted with a mixture of stares, a few nasty comments and also some sympathetic smiles which confused me the most. "Hey Lewison, what's with the change?" Regina Jacobson, the most popular girl to ever walk Bridgeway's halls hollered at me from across the room. I snickered in response meanwhile shaking my head in disbelief, as apparently it takes a girl like me to slap on a coat of foundation and curl my hair for other people to notice me.  "Oh you know, just felt like it. Still the same old me... not that any of you had even taken interest in the past."

Coach Sanders interrupted our little 'throw down' in the girls changing rooms by announcing that it was time for our annual boys versus girls volleyball tournament. "Faith, wait up!" A breathless Louise joined me on the court while Regina stood before me patiently awaiting the first serve from the girls.  However, I forgot that I was supposed to be the one to serve the ball so everyone was burning holes into my body with their glares. Lukas was absolutely nowhere to be seen thankfully in my moment of embarrassment.

I spoke too quickly apparently, as my cheeks deepened with the colour of crimson and Lukas burst through the gym door. As he sprinted over to his position on the court while completely blanking my presence, I felt my smile immediately drop and my heart shatter once again into pieces. Louise noticed my extremely uncomfortable shift and squeezed my arm slightly signalling that she had my back. I let out a small insignificant smile as a thank you. Meanwhile, Regina picked up on my shift in mood and made her way over to where Lukas was standing. She slyly stroked his arm while fixating her eyes over on me to see my reaction. Lukas removed her hand fairly swiftly and continued to play the game as if he was purposely ignoring my presence as well as Regina's stench of desperation.
This only fuelled my anger towards him even more. Did last night mean nothing to him? I told him more things in 3 hours than I have to anyone in my entire being.

I had enough. With tears streaming down my face, I ran without even looking back once.
I got into my car and drove away as if I didn't have another class to go to, as if I had nobody in the entire world who cared about me. I just wanted it to all end.