Part 7

18 2 1
                                        

Dear diary,

Life is screwed up. I've been trying to ignore everything. Replace whatever was out of place with things I believed would better me. Diets, exercise, even doing my homework.

But then I come back here. Here where everyone but us is perfect. Where forgetting one thing is the biggest sin ever. My stepmother blew her top because I forgot to wash a pan and a plate before gym. Yet for years I was the one washing everything. She's been home for two weeks and she already thinks she does everything just because she's washed the dishes for two weeks. I never asked her to. She does it on her own.

My stepsister is so moody I feel like killing her. She always takes her moods out on me even if I haven't even had a chamce to do anything but ask her how her day was.

I am tired of these people. This life. This fake, screwed up, mask-it-with-a-smile life.

Are we allowed to have a building hate for those who do not love us. Is it okay to not always be a good person? I used to try to be, but I'm sick of it. Being nice doesn't help. Yelling does. Not caring does. Watching them hurt as I do, does.

I am so tired the last while. Physically. Emotionally. I don't like being around the house. I'd kill to not be here. To be in another bed and have a dreamless sleep.

If I ever had anything to live for it would be the day I leave here, and leave this behind.

But isn't there easier options? Giving up. Will I see this free future?

Your faithful Havoc child

Havoc diariesWhere stories live. Discover now