Before I start this I want everyone to know I love my mom. I really do but the choices and decisions she makes sometimes are absolutely terrible. Now moving every year for us was Normal. My mom would find a guy. Then that guy would move us to where ever he's at. It's normal. But it was too frequent. I couldn't pass in school Bc I would move too much. It was that bad. But that's not the reason why I hate moving. If I tell you this...this stays between us again.
My mom met this guy. From what she told us he was a nice guy. He had no kids and he wasn't married before. But we drove to Loving, New Mexico. My mom said we were staying a weekend but ummm...I'm pretty sure a year is not a weekend. We were okay for the first few months but something snapped... he would beat me and straight abuse me. He would hit me and hold guns to my head to threaten me. I even have scars on my back to where he would throw glass at me for not acting right. I have ADHD. For those of you who don't know it pretty much means I can focus or stay still for very long. But he would hit me and slap me when I wouldn't be still.
My mom knew but she couldn't do anything. He threatened to beat me harder if she did anything. Every few months I would have broken at least 2-3 bones...he would whip me. I had to deal with that for a solid 5-6 months.. no matter how much I would cry or scream for help no one would...it got to the point to where I would be scared to sleep because he would wake me up in the morning by kicking me or pouring beer on my head. He picked me because he thought I deserved it. I don't know what I did. But imagine a 9 year old kid explaining to his teachers why he broke a bone or came to school with a new bruise. I had to lie. My mom couldn't call the cops because the guys mom was crazy. She would have his back then when they left he would beat me and his mom would watch.
So if anyone was wondering why I don't sleep much or why I drink sometimes it's because that thought gets in my head. It's better than cutting or burning myself to get the pain out of my head. But recently I started letting music sleep. So while I'm not sleeping I am writing music.
We got out by sneaking out at 3 am. We haven't seen him since...but some nights there is a guy outside my window. So most nights I stay up Incase he tried breaking in. I know you are probably asking why I brought that up...it's Bc that guy my mom was with was really insane. And I think that's him. And it scares me so much still. It scared me so much I sometimes cry because it scares me that it could be him. Another reason why my darkness grew. So I hide a p250 handgun under my pillow just Incase.
Lesson learned...people change in The matter of months. Sometimes for bad sometimes for good. Be careful who you trust.
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Out of the darkness
Literatura FaktuIn this I give you an in depth description of what went on in my head for a long time. From my grandmas passing to current day. Be prepared to go through an emotional roller coaster.
