There's always that one second
Right when I wake up
Where I forget who I am
And what my life has become
It is one second of bliss
Amidst a life of pain
I can't do this anymoreThe sadness I see in my sister's eyes
After the joy of seeing me
For the first time in a year
Has faded
Shows just how cruel this world is
For taking away her innocence
I can't do this anymoreNo matter how hard
I try to ignore it
The sounds of my parents
Screaming at each other
Echoes through the apartment
And through my head
I can't do this anymoreNo matter how many As
Or how many "good jobs"
I get in class
It never feels like enough
Because my grades don't reflect
How useless I really am
I can't do this anymoreWhen I look in the mirror
All I see is failure
And a girl
Who can't figure out who she is
Because she can't let go of who she was
I can't do this anymoreAt night
When the darkness is all there is
No one to smile for
I let the tears fall
Where no one can see
Because I am nothing but a burden
I can't do this anymoreBut
That one second shows me that there is more than just pain
At least I know my sister is safe
And I still remember when my parents were happy
As long as I don't fail I can make something of myself
Who I was is part of who I am, and I can use her to make myself better
Sometimes tears are necessary in order to know how to smile
I can do this for as long as it takes
YOU ARE READING
Random poem i just decided to write
Puisiidek what the hecc this is but oh well *WARNING* Cringey as hecc and possibly too sade for some people