When He Told Me He Loved Me
I thought I was in love once.
It sounds cliche but I truly believed that I had found the right partner for me. It felt so right but in the end, it just wasn't the right time. I believed that together we'd achieve so much, but unfortunately, sometimes people fail.
People tell me that I won't be able to love until I learn to love myself. I thought that was silly, that surely filling the whole in my heart with the love of another would make me hate myself a little less. I told him that I beleived that loving him and being with him almost made life worth it.
When he told me he loved me, I believed him. I was naive to believe that love was enough, I was naive to trust that he meant the words he so easily and carelessly threw at me.
After six months when he told me he didn't have any romantic feelings for me anymore I was confused, he said he'd been feeling this way for weeks. If he didn't love me anymore than why had he told me he did?.
We stayed together for a few more months but It didn't matter what I did, or what I choose, I was the reason he no longer felt this way. I was hurting him. I was hurting him because I couldn't come to terms with my own behaviour, my depression, and the overwhelming feeling that no matter what everything would have a negative outcome.
I know that its over, i know that it is. I no longer want these memories anymore of you. But I can't forget, it's impossible.
He wants to be friends, and I think thats what hurts the most because I want him so bad.
I know I must have broken his heart a million times by now, with the things I've said about myself. I want him to talk to me more than anything in the world, to hold me, to support me and most importantly to love me in the way I want him to, the way he use to. I guess he's just come to see me the way I see myself and I can understand now why he doesn't love me, it's just hard to get use to living without him at this point.
He gave up on me, he no longer wanted to help me through the tough times.
Maybe he feels like I gave up on him? maybe I made all the wrong choices
All I want is for him to come back, to say he regrets that we ended things. However a small part of me wants to move on because maybe I never loved him as strongly as I thought I did.
YOU ARE READING
Melancholia
Romance"a man who had brought her nothing but misery" I thought I was in love once, but that wasn't enough. I hope you find this interesting. it's such a strange new experience for me to share such intimate details about my personal life. I often find it s...
