Have You Ever Felt Worthless?

Chapter 12

I'm back! I'm very excited to see you all again!

Nico's POV

     Everyone else had long since stopped coming to visit Percy. It was just me. Me and Percy. The nurses let me stay overnight, past visiting times and even brought me food. One nurse, named Ann-Marie, seemed to become my mother figure. She's stay and console me when I cried and made sure I ate and drank, even though I didn't feel like it. It made me nauseous to eat now; I must have shrunk my stomach by at least a fourth it's size since the time Percy was put in a coma. Which was almost three months ago. Everyone occasionally visited, but not as often as me. I had left his side maybe four times, all of them because I was taken away while asleep. Needless to say, I wound up back here pretty quickly and they all gave up trying to take me away.

     Ann-Marie walked in. "Hey there Nico," she said, smiling softly at me. I weakly smiled back, then looked over at Percy.

     "How's he doing?" I asked.

     "He's... He's stable, at least," Ann-Marie sighed, setting some food on the counter and walking over to Percy. She brushed some hair from his face and checked the monitors and machines.

     "He's breathing a lot better, some of his lung damage might be fixing itself. It's no guarantee he can talk after this, though," she said, frowning.

     I swallowed and nodded. "Yeah..." I stood and walked over by her, next to Percy. I rest my hand on top of his, lacing my fingers through his. I immediately recoiled as his hand twitched, and Ann-Marie smiled.

     "That's good news. That means he's getting better. He used to be at a stage in his coma where he can't hear or recognize touch, but that proved that he's improved, the fact that his hand moved. He can most likely hear us, too."

     "... Really?" I asked quietly, examining his sleeping face.

     "Really," Ann-Marie said, smiling.

     I cautiously set my hand back on his, and it moved again. "I'm leaving, I have some food on the counter for you, make sure you eat okay Nico?" she asked, ruffling my hair.

     "Okay... I'll try..." I muttered, not removing my gaze from Percy.

     I heard her leave and after a few minutes I removed my hand from Percy's, only to drag my chair over. I slipped my hand and forearm under Percy's, grabbing his hand the proper way. His fingers remained motionless, sprawled out despite mine, gripping his hand tightly. After a while, I got drowsy, and eventually fell asleep. When I woke, I saw Jason, Leo and Annabeth, sitting in the chairs at the bottom of Percy's bed. My head was resting on Percy's arm, my hand gripping his.

     And his hand was gripping mine back. Weakly, very weakly, but his fingers had laced through mine

     Nicos POV

     At first, I didn't know what woke me up. I was sitting in the tiny chair next to Percy's side, my head resting on the side of his bed and my feet over the other arm of the chair. I haven't left his side in three days. The only time I left was when everyone out so I could shower. Jason brought me food and water, and Annabeth, Leo and Jason all visit after school. Then what woke me happened again. Percy let out a low groan. After practically being in a coma for almost five months, I couldn't be more surprised. I sat bolt upright and spun around so I could look at him. His eyes were open just the tiniest, tiniest bit. "Percy? C'mon, wake up please, just open your eyes..."

     He looked exhausted, but he managed to lick his dry bottom lip. "Nico?" He asked weakly.

     "Yeah? I'm here Percy, what do you need?" I asked frantically.

     He smiled softly. "You're here," he managed.

     I rushed over to his side, resting my hands on the side of his bed. "Of course. I wouldn't leave you."

     He smiled a very tiny, very brief smile before it faded into a tired frown. "How long-?"

     "Four months and seventeen days," I replied, resting my hand gently on top of his out of habit. His eyes flitted down to my hand and he weakly turned his hand so his palm was pressed against mine, and squeezed my hand without much strength.

     He slowly nodded. "Alright."

     "How are you feeling?" I asked, pulling over my chair to sit next to him.

     His frown deepened slightly. "Hurt."

     I nodded and rested my head on the bed next to his waist, looking up at him through my long, dark hair. "I'm sorry," I whispered, gently squeezing his hand.

     He nodded, seeming to put great thought into something for a moment before speaking. "Can- Can I ask you something?" His voice was low and croaky.

     "Anything," I hastily replied.

     "I know this is a weird question..." He noticeably bit the inside of his cheek. "But... Have... Have you ever felt worthless? Like... A burden to people?"

     "Percy..."

     "I know it's not... Not a normal question, but answer me. Please."

     I didn't answer for a while. "I have, but... It was a long time ago. Before I was friends with you, and Leo, and Jason. You guys made me feel like I was... I was someone. Not just a deadbeat, a waste of space. My dad didn't make much money back then, and he could barely afford to feed Hazel, him and I, and when we did get a proper meal it was a very small one. I thought that... That if I... Wasn't there... They'd get along much better. Have more food, not have to pay so much for the bills." I paused. "Why?"

     Percy studied me with half lidded eyes. "I need to sleep."

     "So soon?"

     "I-I'm... I'm... I'm tired."

     "Okay. I'll... I'll be here for you."

     "Thank you... Nico..." His eyes slowly shut.

     I was scared. I didn't want him to drift into another coma. Out of anxiety and haste, I blurted out "I love you Percy."

     A soft smiled formed on his face as his eyes shut completely. "I love... You too..." his smile faded at the end and his hand went limp around mine. After hastily checking the machines to make sure nothing was wrong, I grabbed the remove to hit the 'Help' button on the small controller by Percys bed. Before I did, a thought hit me.

     Did he say he loved me too?

     I thought back. He did. It was probably just a brotherly thing though... A friendship I love you. I glanced down at our fingers, still interlaced, his half unfolded around my hand. I rest my head back down, smiling. Even if it was a friendship thing, I was glad that Percy was alright. He had a voice, he was alive, he was... Well, he wasn't in pristine condition exactly, but he wasn't on the brink of death at least. I closed my eyes, setting the remote back down on his bed stand.

     With a slight larger smile, I thought, Percy said he loved me.