Ikemen Sengoku Writings

❋ Nyctophobia // Yukimura Sanada x Reader

It was our first night together, and I was used to having no night lights or lamps, but instead resulting to lanterns so I therefore wouldn't be consumed by the darkness. But Yukimura had no idea of the fear that's haunted me since childhood, and for so long I was able to hide it, yet now it seemed reality of telling him of what to me was a silly fear was crashing onto me like a tidal wave.

Minutes by minutes passed as I sat in the futon brushing my hair, waiting for Yukimura to come to, now, our bed chambers at Kasugayama castle. I took steady, deep breaths, my eyes focused on the lantern in front of me with great intensity.

My body jolts at the sudden creak of the door sliding and closing as Yukimura enters the room, his feet pattering against the wooden floors beneath. I look up at him and give him a smile, trying to hide any bits of fear or nerves I'm feeling. Yukimura gives an exasperated sigh as he slips into the futon beside me, his arm lazily wrapping around my waist to pull me against him. "I swear Kenshin is not human," he grumbles, rubbing his temple. "He is a war loving beast, or... what is you call the built men of metal in the future?"

"Robots?"

"Yeah!" he exclaims, snapping his finger, giving me a goofy smile. "He's a robot, I'm sure of it. No one can love fighting that much, let alone have the energy for it after glasses upon glasses of sake."

I quirk a brow. "Are you sure the drinking doesn't only fuel the urges to fight?"

"I'd say sure if it wasn't that he is always wanting to fight." I nod in agreement. Sighing once more and laying down in the futon, me pulled loosely against him, Yukimura leans over me to swipe the flame that blares within in the futon. My body tenses automatically, as much as I tried to stay calm. His hand was just before the flame but he stops, looking down at me with a hint of concern in his eyes. "Hey, you ok?" he asks.

I nod, not trusting my voice to say anything. I curse myself mentally at such the silly fear that completely devoured me and yanked away my ability to speak. He looks me over, shrugging before his finger finally dabs at the flame, and everything is dark, and quiet.

I didn't know how long it had been that I laid in his arms, wide awake, terrified of what could be lurking in the darkness. I was certain Yukimura was asleep, as I could feel his chest raise beneath my cheek steadily, and I could hear his gentle snores. I felt I should feel safer in the dark, in his arms, and as much as I did, it didn't quench any of my fears whatsoever.

Before I knew it tears were sliding down my soft cheeks, and my body began to shake against him. I curled into a ball into his side, trying to keep my whimpers down so I didn't wake him. It all became to much, the darkness around me. It all became to real— everything I was feeling between lost, frightened, and alone.

I bit my lip to hold back a scream when the sudden wind outside blew a window open and shut. In my head, I knew it was nothing but wind, but in the darkness, with only imagination to grant you sight, it was a creature lurking in the dark, ready to pounce at any moment.

Without really thinking, my fingers gripped onto Yukimura, fists clenching to him for dear life, till my nails were practically digging into him. He let out a groan of pain before his eyes shot open, and in a tired daze he looked around for the source that woke him till eyes eyes came upon mine. In the dark, he couldn't see my tears but he could feel me shaking like a frightened lamb. "(y/n)?" he asks, voice barely above a whisper. I finally do scream when the window is once again brutally forced open and then abruptly shut with a loud bang. His hands are all over me, gently cupping my cheeks to push back my hair— with his finger grazing over my face, he can feel they are wet from tears, and at that he is panicking. "What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen— Dammit, why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"T-the dark," I stuttered, hating myself for sounding so week. How could I go barreling into a war zone so defiantly but I couldn't face the simplicity of darkness? Yukimura did not need to ask again. He struggled to find a match, or anything he could use to light the lantern blazing once more. He tripped over his own feet, he himself falling victim of the darkness. He finally found something and lit the lantern, bringing light into the room once again.

With the flame glowing, he could see me perfectly now, and could see the red streaks down my face from the many tears shed and just how much my body quaked with fear. "Oh god, you're a mess." It came out more rough than he meant, I'm sure, and by the way I flinched without much control of my body, he could tell I was already taking it to heart. He frowns, carefully positioning himself besides me so he could wrap his arm around me. My smaller form fits snuggly against him, my head tucked under his chin, and his broad hand rubbing up and down my arms.

We sat in silence for awhile, Yukimura letting me cry everything out as he gently comforted me with his warm embrace and gentle ministrations. He'd stroke my hair, place a tentative kiss every so often to the top of my head, and one of his hands rested on my knee, squeezing every once and while. After the long moments of silence, he finally asked, "Are you afraid of the dark?" when he could see I had calmed down. I nod, slowly, a sense of shame burning within my chest, coiling around my heart and lungs painfully making it harder and harder to breathe.

Sensing this, Yukimura pulling me tighter against him, his other arm wrapping around me in a hug. "I'm sorry," I mumble into his chest, embarrassed by my weak and vulnerable state— a state I had yet to really show him, and tried so hard to never show.

"Don't apologize, dummy, everyone has fears."

"Not ones as silly as mine."

Yukimura snorts. He pulls back and gives me a goofy grin, all the while his cheeks becoming a bright red. He pats my cheek gently before saying, "If I tell you this, you have to promise me you're not going to tell anyone. EspeciallySasuke because I'll never hear the end of it."

I nod, quirking my brow slightly. Yukimura laughs a little, shaking his head before finally admitting, "I'm terrified of ducks."

I blink a couple times, biting my lip as I looking into his eyes and see no sign of him lying. "Ducks?"

"Ducks," he says bitterly. "I can't stand the creatures, and the moment I see one, I... I can't explain it. They have me running the other way, I'll tell you that. Just the way they quack and charge at you. They seem harmless but they are as brutal as Kenshin in my opinion."

"I see," I say with a small smile. Yukimura grins, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and cupping my cheek. His rough, calloused thumb gently caresses beneath my eye and against the streaks that are already starting to fade.

"No matter how weird and lame a fear might seem to you, it doesn't make it any less rational," he says. "Fears shape a person, you know. Shingen told me that once. A fear doesn't make you any less strong or any more weak. Don't you agree?" I nod, and Yukimura begins to shift back under the blankets, laying down within the futon. He pulls me to him so I'm practically laying on his chest, our legs tangled together and our arms wrapped around each other. "We can sleep with the lantern on— it makes no different to me. As long as you're comfortable, thats all that matters," he says, rather sleepily. I lean up to quickly give him a kiss, whispering a small, "Thank you," against his lips. He blushes once more and wraps the blanket around us, holding me too him, and protecting me from the darkness that no longer looms.