The Outcast

3- Rejected

[ Edited ]

AT LUNCH I walk over to detention. When I open the door, I find my English teacher is waiting there for me.

"Hello Cassidy," he nods, giving me a strained smile.

"Hi." I say flatly, not particularly wanting to invoke in conversation with him right now, or ever for that matter.

"You'll be pleased to know you don't have to do detention. You're the only one this lunch and I'll let you off. Just try not to let it happen again." he says, holding the door back open for me to walk out, "enjoy your lunch."

I haven't enjoyed my lunch for a while, I want to say. But instead, I smile as genuinely as I can.

"I won't sir," I say, walking back out, "thanks."

Yay for lazy ass teachers who are all having a mid life crisis, I think as I walk towards where my group sit, slowing my pace a little when I see them, all together in a right knitted circle.

When I get there, I practically give up trying to sit with my 'friends'. I'm actually sick of sitting on the outside of the circle, spending the whole one staring at the back of my friend's head and pretending I'm okay, not falling apart over it inside.

I sigh and stretch out on a seat above where my friends are on the grass. I fiddle with the hem of my skirt and stare into the clouds, watching them roll lazily by whilst vaguely listening to their conversation.

"I DMed Luke yesterday!" Kirsty squeals excitedly, making all the other girls really excited.

"Awesome! How long did you talk for?" Monique asks, her eyes widening.

"Like, five whole minutes!" She boasts

That's amazing Kirsty. *Insert slow, sarcastic clap for Kirsty*, wow I can really see that long conversation going far. I don't say this, of course, because what would it gain other than enemies?

"I wish I could talk to Jordan..." Laura sighs dreamily, biting her lip.

"Why don't you?" Tia asks, plaiting her brown, dip dyed hair.

"Uh... I don't think he likes me..." she sighs sadly

"Why not?" she asks

"Cause, he never talks to me." she sighs sadly

"Why don't you talk to him?"

"Uh... I get nervous."

"I know! I'll ask him out for you!" Tia announces

"Yes!" the rest of the group squeal excitedly

Please, you just want an excuse to talk to the boys. Again, I keep this thought to myself. I keep everything to myself actually, because the more secrets people know, the more weapons they have against you.

"Okay... Maybe..." Laura mumbles, looking down at her shoes.

"C'mon Laura!" Cindy begs, grabbing her arm and shaking it quite violently.

"Okay... Fine." she mumbles, blushing, her eyes lighting up with a little bit of hope.

"Yes! C'mon girls!"

The rest of my group drag Laura over toward the boys' group, giggling like idiots, all looking slightly tipsy or high. God.

I trail behind slowly, wanting to see what happens. I can't help but feel nervous. He's sorta my crush too, just no one knows. What if he says yes?

I'm pretty sure he doesn't like her, but there's that little, annoying voice in the back of you're mind which you want to kiss and kill at the same time.