It all began with a rainy day

Chrapter 32

5 days till Luke comes back from tour and I can't wait to see him and hold him tight in my arms and kiss his perfect lips . Ever since he and the boys went on tour we have been face timing nearly everyday but it's kinda hard with the time difference but we manage. Luke gives me all the updates on what's going on and where he is going next .He tells me that he loves me and misses me I say the same back to him everyday. He is really enjoying it in the UK he say that the weather is really cold and rainy but the food is nice . I also been speaking to his family they came up one day to see how I was getting on seeing that I was going to be there daughter in law soon .his mum showed me old pictures of him when he was a baby he was so cute with his chubby cheeks and small nose I really enjoyed seeing them . And even though I have been getting loads of comfort from friends and family I have been keeping a secret from them all I was getting loads of hate mail from fans saying that

'I should die in a hole'

'I should disappear forever '

'why is Luke dating you your ugly '

At first it was only a few messages on Instagram and Twitter but as the month carried on I was getting more and more i don't know what i done wronged for them to do this to me .I thought I could handle it, it was only jealous fans but I can't not anymore they were getting to harsh I was getting pictures of me and Luke but someone cut me out or burned the other half off there was some people who stuck up for me but that didn't help it just got worse. Everyday I was getting messages on my phone . I didn't tell anyone about them especially Luke he loves his fans it would destroy him I faked a smile everyday for my friends but inside I was hurt , broken , dead . And not long ago I done something stupid I self harmed .The stress was getting to much I just didn't want to live anymore I wanted to die and I found one of Luke's razor blades in the cupboards and I cut my thigh the pain I went through the amount of blood I lost I was going to attack myself again with more deep scars but I thought of Luke I though how much he keeps telling me that he loves me and how much he cares I couldn't do this to him he would be broken he would blame himself I couldn't let he think that . I cried myself to sleep wanting to feel loved wanting Luke to be by my side and telling me it's ok .

Today Chloe was coming round my house for a sleepover seeing the other one didn't work out I was in the living room watching TV I was waring black skinny jeans to hide the scars and a green day top it was 7:00pm I heard a knock at the door I opened the it remembering to fake a smile Chloe walked in and dumped her stuff down on the floor .

"Hi Daniella why are you waring jeans it's like 87 degrees " she said

" I feel cold " I said

" ok if you say so " she replied

We sit down in the living room and we talk about 5 seconds of summer tour and how proud we both are . I remembered that today Luke was going to FaceTime me with the boys I haven't spoken to them since they left I have saw them in the background of previous FaceTimes but never spoken .It was good Chloe was here so she could see them to . We was watching some music channel and discussing the celeb gossip as normal then the subject changes quickly over to me and Luke

" so can I see the ring " Chloe said excitedly

" Chloe you have seen the ring like 10 times "

" yeah but it's so beautiful I am totally jealous my best friend is getting married before me and it's with Luke Hemmings"

" fine " I said holing out my hand so she could see it

" oh wow it's just perfect you are so Lucky you must be the luckiest girl ever " she said

" yeah I must be " I said thinking how I'm not lucky how my life is being destroyed by fans how want me dead.

I pull my hand away slowly and I look at the floor my phone buzzes to the side of me I look at it but I just ignore it knowing it's just more hate