The Higher Define (2018)

3

Night. It emerges with a surprise in store for the Corrupts- a clear sky that declares a night full of fun acitivities and games. Everyone looks excited- I don't think any of them has experienced two nights without rain in a week before but I can't seem to portray the same level of enthusiasm that they glow with.

All I can think of are the way the secrets are eating me up. How the adult Corrupts are gone, how I'm able to trace the code of the objects that felt so foreign, so impenetrable the last time.

Courtney and Kayla keep exchanging looks when they don't think anyone's watching them. But I notice the little stares that they give one another, the way they shift with a new discomfort when Reyna or Alice speaks to them.

They can't be old recruits. They must be new- recently let on in the secret about the Underground, because I have never seen them this nervous before. They must be taking notes. Notes on how the substance they injected into us must be affecting our daily actions, thoughts. The way I am, for the liquid I have laced the river with.

When I hear about Parker's loss of appetite, I note it down. When Reyna excuses herself from the table after saying that she's too tired, I take it down. Nothing I do might ring with the values that I was brought up with but this is my job, now. This is my responsibility.

No matter how disgusting, filthy or dark the intention of lacing the river with poison may be, Richard still needs the reports. Even if I don't turn them in, they might come in handy in the future.

With Reyna gone and Alice leaving our team's spots along the dinning area to join her younger friends, I make up a feeble excuse about enjoying the fresh night air and slip away. Courtney and Kayla eye me suspiciously but they don't bring it up last night.

I'm about to join the little group that has gathered by the bonfire when Cali approaches me. There's a somewhat reluctant smile on his face and the hesitance rolls off him in waves. Still, he doesn't move away.

"Aspen Heights," He says, almost with charm, "How have you been since our last encounter?"

I struggle to make my fake laugh sound authentic but once no one else is looking, I lower my voice.

"Things have been really weird lately. There's a bunch of crazy things that have been going on and I just feel... stuck, you know?"

Interest dots Cali's face as he leans in, "While I would love to know more, I don't think here's the best place to talk about it."

I open my mouth to argue with him but he doesn't give me the chance to do so. Instead, he grabs my hand and pulls me away to the darker side of the living space- after shooting a bunch of suggestive winks at the other Corrupts and earning whistles from them.

Once we're out of the Corrupts' earshots, I smack him on the chest. Hard.

"Ouch! What's that for?"

"For acting like we're going to have sex by the side of the road." I reply snarkily. Cali rolls his eyes playfully but the light-hearted mood vanishes almost instantly.

"So what's happened since the paintball incident?"

"A lot of things went down the night of the incident." The words rush out of my mouth before I can stop them and the look in Cali's eyes stops me before I reveal too much.

Can I really trust him? After all, didn't he lie to me about what he was? Fear pierces my lungs and I suck in a ball of air, suddenly afraid that I'm making a bad choice.

"Hey," Cali insists softly, his eyes softening as he sees the uncertain glance that I give him, "You know that you don't have to tell me things that you aren't comfortable sharing about. You know that I prioritise your comfort, right?"

I lick my dry lips and nod but the doubt swirls in my head like a storm. Does he truly? Because I've been hearing the same thing from Spencer and it seems like a lie.

But if I can't trust anyone here, how will I make it out here alive? The idea of getting through this without any inside help sinces unthinkable. This is a risk that I need to take.

The boy who painted an idea of freedom and linked it with the truth for me. The boy who pretended that he was above everybody but in reality, cared.

I tell him everything.

I inform him about the morning I went out to collect nuts and fruits, the secret hole that leads to the Underground with the strange expriments, ran by Emma.
I tell him about hearing in on the transfer, about Emma's issue, about the substance that Courtney and Kayla injected inside the team members' bodies.

The world around us grows red with laughter, with joy and the sounds of people who feel worlds away from us, despite the proximity and the little distance that stands between us. They don't know the secrets that I know. The secrets that Cali now knows.

Throughout my story, Cali doesn't say a word. He just listens as I talk, nodding to the interesting bits and his eyes would occasionally grow round with interest when I reveal the darker parts of my discovery.

When I'm done, I drape myself along the side of the nearby buildings and slowly inhale the night air. It's cooling and smells of fire, of warmth and good food but it's not eough to wash away every sinful thing that I have learned of, here.

"What are you going to do?" It's a moment of silence before Cali ensues conversation. He looks almost jaded by my narration despite the interest he has shown in from my revealation.

"I don't know. What do you think I should do?" I didn't tell him about my mission. I didn't tell him about lacing the river with the strange poison or substance that may have caused Daniel's death.

We fall into a long pause from conversation as Cali stares at the fire in the distance thoughtfully.

When he finally answers, his voice is calm and full of confidence.

"You should find out more," Cali's eyes seem to burn bright as the light of the fire reflects in his eyes, "Try to get the girls' defences down. Sneak into the underground again and try the other doors."

His words create a hole in my lungs.

"But... but I don't want to return to the underground." Tears well up in my eyes and I brush them away, feeling frustrated, "It's a horrible place?"

"Hey, it'll be fine. You've only seen one room- there's no way that things can get worse." Cali leans beside me, his tone gentle and calming.

But I hate it. The underground with its mystery, with the secrecy and empty screams of adult Corrupts being tortured.

I shake my head, "I can't do it. I won't do it."

Confusion twists Cali's features, followed by understanding.

"I'll go with you," He says, "If you're scared of getting caught or being there alone, I'll go with you."

I want to turn him down, tell him that I'm never returning to the underground again. But the look in his eyes are too tender with worry and he stares at me with such care that the words can't form on my tongue.

"Meet me along the green fence when your team members have gone to sleep."

With that, I quickly whirl around and make my way back to where the Corrupts are- dancing by the flames, living their lives and spending their night as if it's their last.

And for some of them, it just might be.