The Higher Define (2018)

13

Spencer starts summoning the items to start a fire and all I can do is sit and watch. I don't know how I'm supposed to stop him and I can't bear the heavy weight that settles along my shoulders.

The responsibility of the all the Defines' live that I have to save sits squarely along my shoulders but it's not letting me move, letting me break free from the invisible chains of fears.

"Don't do it, Spencer." I finally find my voice and it emerges as a croaky moan. The tears that continue to slip down my face makes my tone sound syrupy and I hate the way I feel so helpless, so useless against the world that I used to think was inferior to me.

He doesn't acknowledge me. Instead, he starts to pour the cans of gasoline all around the Hub. I watch, shoulders stiff and heart clenched in fear, as the streaks of liquid coat the ground.

This can't be happening.

"Spencer!" This time, I leap upwards and spring towards him, shoving against his chest, hard. The impact sends him fumbling with the cans and they drop from his clutch, only spilling across the floor more.

I curse as Spencer gives me a dirty look.

"Don't try to stop me, Aspen. I've made mt choice and I'm not going to change my mind."

"Why would you say that if you mean it? If you aren't thinking about changing sides?" I argue, hands shaking by my sides.

"Shut up. You know nothing." Spencer growls back but something in the way he bends down to turn the cans upwards- the way his hands tremble, the way his body won't stop quivering, makes me think otherwise.

"Can you even see what you're doing right now? You're destroying the world that gave you a chance. Do you even know what you're fighting for?" I retort sharply, trying to snatch the full cans away from his line of vision.

"Yes, I do! I'm fighting for the freedom to be me! Hayley promised no sides- she says that we're fighting for the right to be anything we want to be!"

"Hayley's fighting for revenge! She's fighting for herself! This entire army is all for her- just a way to get back at the mistakes of an ancient history!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Spencer snaps, snatching the cans away from the new positions I have settled them into.

"Stop it, Spencer! I'm begging you to think about what you're doing right now! Have you even thought of the consequences?"

"You know," Spencer says, ignoring my pleas for him to stop, "You've really changed a lot since the first time I met you."

"What?" Confusion flows through my veins as I stare at him, stumped for a few seconds.

"You're different, now. Not the same cold, perfect girl that I love. But that's fine- I still like you."

"What are you talking about?"

Spencer continues to summon more cans of gasoline as he circles the Hub's interior, letting the swirls of liquid spill across the ground.

"How do you not see it?" He pauses to give me a glance, his lips pushing and pulling to form an amused line.

"When I first met you, all you would talk about was yourself. You wouldn't stop for a second to think about those around you, or those who would be affected by your acrions."

"Now you want to argue about Hayley? About the army that she got? Isn't that a little hypocritical?"

"N-no, it's not." I stammer nervously, trying to push away the doubt that runs rampant in my mind.