I'm Sorry

Chapter 12

Amelias POV

I was never one for parties that's for sure. Usually Caitlin and Corey have to drag me to them. And tonight is no different. The only reason I even came was to keep an eye out for Corey. He likes to drink his sadness away and I think tonight will be one of those nights.

I sit on the log near the fire as everyone around me is laughing and having a great time. Caitlin is over by the music dancing with some guy I can't identify from this far away. And Corey is over by the keg with some of his teammates. I'm not much of a drinker, I tried the stuff once and it just tasted disgusting. Except I do wish there was something to drink because I'm so thirsty. I knew I should have stopped to buy a soda or something before we drove over.

I was about to get up to find some water or something when someone sits down on the log next to me.

"Here." Niall says then passes me a bottle of water.

"How did you know I wanted this?"

"I just know you." Niall says then looks down at the ground. Things got awkward after he stopped talking. I took a gulp of my water, thankful that he brought it over.

"Um that was a good goal, you did really well tonight." I say quietly.

"Thanks, it just felt great to get back out there."

"I bet." I say, and then things go back to being awkward.

"Um you enjoying Senior year?" Niall asked awkwardly. This small talk just makes me more upset. This isn't how Niall and I used to talk. We never felt awkward around each other. I want to stop talking but I want to keep talking just as much. I've missed having him in my life. But how can I trust him again?

"Why did you stop talking to me?" I blurt out, then cover my mouth. Why did I just ask that?!?!

Niall lets out a deep breath then begins to talk. "Because, after every phone call it hurt me more and more. I couldn't take the pain anymore. One day Liam caught me crying after a phone call with you and he suggested that I should limit my calls home since they only make things worse." He rambles then takes another deep breath. "So I stopped calling you, and I know I should have thought of your feelings but I didn't. I just thought about how it might help me get through. But it just made things worse. I missed you like fucking crazy and not talking to you didn't help. I regretted it and now I regret it even more. Finding out that I lost you has killed me. And I can't even blame anyone but myself." He says and then goes quiet.

"Oh" I respond. I didn't know there was so much behind it. I figured he just got tired of his old life. That he didn't have room for us. But what if he's just saying all of that stuff? I don't know what to believe. Why did I even start talking to him? Shouldn't I be mad at him still?

"I know you're probably really confused, and don't know what to believe. But, I want you to know I'm being one hundred percent honest with you right now. Please can you just forgive me? Not having you in my life is fucking killing me. Seeing you and Corey doing perfectly fine without me hasn't been easy on me."

Anger flashed through me. He thinks Corey and I are perfectly fine without him?

"You know nothing!" I say in anger.

"What are you saying? What did I do wrong?" He asks confused.

"Corey and I were not and still not perfectly fine without you. But you wouldn't know that because you abandoned us! If you knew anything you would have known Corey has anger and trust issues. And don't even get me started on how fucking messed up I am." I say. I get up off the log, I can't take him anymore. Anger is running through me as I start to walk off. I get on the other side of the fire when I feel a hand grab my arm. I spin around and see Niall.

"What the hell Amelia?"

"Oh shut up. Don't talk to me."

"What did I do? What did you mean about how you were messed up? Am let me in." Niall pleads. Him using his nickname he used to call me crushes me inside.

"Don't call me that." I say through gritted teeth.

"Call you what? Am? Why? That's what I always called you!" He says in a hurt tone.

"Yeah we'll that was before you left me. Just leave me alone Niall." I say and continue walking off. This time he doesn't follow.