keep me cold

Ana

another glass is handed to me, full of that cool, liquid gold. the three other discarded pint glasses lie in front of me in a line. each one bought for me by a different person. the first: Becca, with her kind words and gentle eyes. the second: Micheal-call-me-mike, when him and Pete joined my lonely table soon after Becca left. i couldn't help but drink it quickly to have something to do in all the awkward silences our conversation entailed. the third pint had been forced into my hand by the tall boy, even though i knew i should have said no, knew i should have gone home, something kept me in my seat as we started talking. Micheal-call-me-mike and Pete have since left and the short girl joined our table, handing me another pint. now the three of us are the only customers left in the pub. 

"A-N-A. but that's wrong! you spell it A-N-N-A!"

"Sam, i think i know how to spell my own name." Ana says calmly as Sam leans over the table, fully invested in his point that Ana spells her name wrong. 

"but... but..." he grasps for another point "Daniel," he says abruptly turning to face me, almost knocking over the glass positioned between his outstretched arms. "have you ever met someone who spells Anna with one N?" i think for a second, my mind churning slowly. 

"A-N-A." i mumble to myself, trying to form a cohesive sentence. "no. i haven't."

"exactly!" Sam exclaims, spinning back to where Ana still sits leaning back in her chair. 

"but, but, but..." i cut in over Sam. "that's not a bad thing. it's... it's... what's the word?" Sam and Ana look at me with a shared confusion. 

"unusual?" Ana guesses.

"wrong?" Sam suggests, earning him a light slap from Ana.

"no, no, no." my eyebrows furrow as i reach into the depths of my brain to find the word I'm looking for. "it's..." silence falls over the almost deserted pub. "unique!" i yell, making Sam and Ana jump. "its unique!" i burst out laughing at the relief of finding the word. "unique! unique! unique!" i yell over and over again. my stomach starts to ache from the laughter wracking my body and i hunch over to grip it while i continue to laugh. once the laughter finally dies i look up through teary eyes to see Sam and Ana smiling at me with their eyebrows furrowed. 

"how much have you had to drink Daniel?" Ana asks after a moment of silence. i glance down at the glasses in front of me. they start to sway and split. first there are four, then there's eight. 

"i don't... i don't know." the words are unnaturally slurred as i continue to try and count the glasses. "one." i place my heavy hand on the first glass. "two." my hand falls on the second glass and it slides slightly across the gleaming table. "three." i reach for the third glass but miscalculate my actions. the glass flies across the table and a horrible shattering sound is heard from the other side. 

"shit." Sam says under his breath.

...

the air was cold. the taxi was stuffy. the door was hard. the keys were slippery. the moments from the past hour flash through my mind as i lie in the soft sheets. i feel a hand on my lower leg and a pulling sensation at my feet. i try to lift my head to see what is happening, but my head is so heavy and the pillow is so soft. the same pulling sensation is inflicted on my other foot and i feel something slip off them. a muffled clunk indicated that those must have been my shoes. there's some quiet talking, the tone suggests that whoever it is is discussing something. i hear the door open and close and my shut eyelids slowly lift. there's a small figure standing at the end of my bed. 

"wha..." the word comes out slow and trails off quickly. the figure walks towards me and as it comes closer i see that its Ana. she looks over me for a second with a glimmer of something in her eyes. she reaches over my chest and starts to pull me out of my jacket. "Ana?" she doesn't look at me as she pulls one of my arms out of the sleeve. "Ana." i say slightly louder. she still doesn't look at me. i raise a heavy hand and brush it over her bare arm. she recoils, stepping away from me. 

"don't." she says, her voice cold and harsh. the word cuts through my foggy mind and for a moment i can see her clearer than ever. she stands away from me, her body tense. disgust and sadness is clearly portrayed on her fragile features. confused, i sit up slowly. 

"I'm... sorry." she relaxes slightly and steps towards me again, continuing pulling the heavy jacket off me. 

"its fine i just- i-" she pauses her actions and sits on the edge of the mattress, her eyes directed to the floor. "my dad was an alcoholic." she looks up at me. tears glimmer in the moonlight creeping into the room. "you remind me of him." my hand raises again, pausing slightly above her shoulder before placing it there. she doesn't tense at my touch like she did before, she lets my hand rest as we sit in comfortable silence, no words needing to be said. 

"lie with me." i say quietly. she nods, wiping the tears from her cheeks. she crawls under the duvet next to me and we lie together. after a couple minutes of steady breathing i dare to break the silence. "i don't drink often." i hear her turn to face me. "i used to a lot. every night i would go out, get absolutely hammered, stumble home, sleep till past noon the next day, and go straight out again. for months i don't think i went one day sober." there's more silence. i can feel Ana looking at me. studying my features. i turn to look at hr and sure enough shes looking at me, an expression of deep concentration on her face. "i moved away from all that. a new start." she nods slowly.

"you ran away from your problems" i nod, not wanting to admit it but she's right. "so did i." i turn onto my side to face her completely. she takes a shaky breath. i reach out and cradle her small fingers in my hands. "after my dad died... there was nothing else i could do." just moments ago she acted like a wise adult; looking after me, making sure i took my shoes and jacket off before getting into bed. now she couldn't look more like a child. the tears spill over her almond eyes and drip onto my pillow. i reach my arms out to her, she crawls over to me and buries her head in my chest, i feel her tears dampen my shirt but i don't care. i hold her close to me, wanting to give her a sense of safety. she reminds me of how i was when my mum died. i laid for hours in my brothers bed, just crying, letting him comfort me. after a couple minuted the tears stop and her breathing steadies. she pulls away from me and looks up at me.

"you okay?" she smiles sadly and nods. i smile back. "you sleep here tonight. its too late for you to go home." she nods in agreement. 

"thanks." she whispers and rolls over. i readjust myself and almost instantly i feel the warm thick cloud of sleep wash over me. just before it completely envelopes me i hear her say one last thing.

"Daniel?" i give a slight grunt in reply. "i hope you don't think that I'm coming onto you. like you're a really nice guy i just- i don't- I'm not-" 

"shh..." i say sleepily. "its okay. i wasn't coming onto you either." i hear her exhale deeply. "now goodnight." she doesn't say another word and i finally let the sweet comfort of sleep take over my body. 

{authors note}

there you go. there's the third chapter. hope you like it so far. 

what are your thoughts on Ana? 

I'm sick right now so have a lot of time to write. more chapters coming soon.