keep me cold

Meeting 2 (part two)

i weave my way through the tables and chairs, keeping my head low and finally i reach the table i have been allocated. i look up to address the group. there's three girls, obvious friends by the way the whisper and giggle together. two boys who look like the sort of people that wouldn't have anything better to do a Thursday night (it may be mean but it's true.) and finally.... fuck. 

"hi." his voice is chirpy and light, displaying his still immature nature. my body goes stiff as i sit down in the empty seat. i forgot how his eyes glimmer under these classroom lights.

"hello." i say, briskly, before diverting my eyes and trying to ignore the fact that he's here. "okay so were gonna do map reading. have all of you done map reading before?" my question is greeted by unenthusiastic nods and mumbled 'yes's. "good."

...

i always seem to forget how boring map reading is. after five minuted of trying to actively partake in the activity, i give up, letting the group handle it for themselves. all of them crowd around the map, leaning over the table to get a better look, apart from one. guess who. he leans back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest - a sulky expression plastered on his ivory skin. not wanting to, but knowing that i probably should, i stand up and walk around the table to where he sits. pulling an empty chair from a neighboring table, i sit down next to him. he turns his face to me, eyebrows raised. 

"you should be doing this too." i say, nodding in the general direction of the map. 

"you know what..." he says, uncrossing his arms and sitting up in his chair, giving me hope that he is actually about to join in, but of course: "I'd really rather not." i cant help but chuckle at his childish indifference. 

"you have to be doing this too." i try again, correcting my word choice. 

"oh," his eyebrows quirk up and the corners of his lips lift in a mischievous smirk. "and i guess you're going to make me?" his voice in quieter and posses a husky tone. there's nothing wrong or dirty about what he says, but the way his tongue subtly licks his lips begs to differ. i feel heat rise into my cheeks and i have to look away quickly. 

"well- i- you-" my eyes scan the map, trying to form a cohesive sentence. this kid is going to be the death of me. "i would like it if you did participate." i look back to him where his smirk has grown into a full grown grin. ear to ear across his rosy cheeks. "please?" he rolls his eyes to the ceiling for a split second before turning to the table an leaning forward on it.

"only for you." he says quietly before pulling the map slightly in his direction. 

...

the wind has picked up in he past hour and I'm starting to regret my decision to not wear a coat. the soft green jumper i opted with is providing me with no protection against this Scottish autumn weather. i walk across the dark playground towards the gates. in the distance i can hear the sound of the groups of teens making their way further from the school. probably on their way home to stay up well into the early morning not doing their homework. oh how simple life was only two years ago. as i reach the main road, i stop for a second and look up and down it, trying to remember which way is home. 

"Daniel!" i hear a yell from behind me. looking around i see the figure of a young woman briskly walking towards me. Ana. i wait for her to catch up with me and smile when she gets close. her usually olive toned cheeks are now bright red and the wind pushes her chaotically curly hair around her angular face.

"which way are you walking?" she says as she comes to sand beside me. i look up and down the eerily silent road again. 

"that way." i finally decide, pointing in the rough direction to where i guess my flat is. 

"oh, so am i. walk with me?" i nod and we start to walk down the amber lit pavement side by side. it's comfortable as we chat about the session and she tells me about a particularly annoying kid called Mason in her group.

"what a dick." i say as she finishes telling me about Jason wouldn't stop tearing up the piece of paper and throwing the pieces at the rest of the group.

"yeah and then he had the nerve - the fucking nerve! - to ask me what i was doing later!" i cant help but laugh. this boy must be seriously delusional. "like I'm gonna go out with a fucking kid, let alone him!" 

"there's not much of an age gap between us and them." i remind her. "only like two or three years." she shrugs.

"yeah but at this age, i feel like there's a huge step in maturity." i think about it. i don't feel that much older than the group we are leading. my mind wanders to Noah. if i didn't know his age, i would guess that we were the same age, and not just for his appearance. 

"well, hopefully you won't have him in your group next week." he nods in agreement. 

"yeah, hopefully." any further conversation is cut of by the sounds of a car pulling up beside us. 

"want a lift?" Sam's grin is wide as he sits back in the car, obviously very proud of it. i don't know enough about cars to judge if it is a nice car or not but i looks like it does its job. Ana bends down and leans her elbow on the window edge to talk to him. 

"i mean, if its not out of your way?" she questions. he immediately shakes his head dismissing her. 

"where do you stay?" 

"Dalry." 

"that's just round the corner from me!" 

"no way!"

"yeah, hop in then." she opens the car door and starts to step in.

"you coming?" she asks, half over her shoulder. i pause for a second. something about a warm car and the comfortable cushioned seats sounds extremely attractive right now as i stand in the wind, but something urges me to walk home. 

"um, no I'm okay." i say, the wind whips the thin jumper round my waist and goosebumps rise up my stomach. i really should get in the car. i'll catch a cold if i walk home.

"you sure?" Sam leans across Ana, giving me a concerned look.

"yeah it's chill, i'll walk." Sam raises his eyebrows at me and i know that he's thinking about what happened. "I'm fine." i say, trying to put across the strongest sense of sincerity in those two simple words. 

"okay then," he says leaning back in his seat. "your loss buddy." he says as the car starts to roll away from me and I'm left standing on the cold pavement, on a road i don't know, not knowing how to get home. fuck. 

{author's note}

i feel like this chapter jumped around a lot but oh well. a little bit more lighthearted than the last few haha.

what are your thoughts? 

who do you like, who don't you like? tell me all the tea sis. 

if you liked this then vote and comment, it makes me feel good and not like a useless piece of shit.