Living with Endometriosis

Endo what?!

I am currently 34 years old, married with a daughter (she is 1 year and 10months old).  I have been living in pain for awhile due to endometriosis . I have so many people who care and love me (and i do love them back) but most of the time i feel alone. I feel like there is no point, they will never understand. And that actually breaks their hearts (mostly my husband, because he wants to help) but I can't help it. I've reached a point where i am tired of telling people i am in pain; so i just say "i am ok"

So ... here it goes.
Apparently, i have been living with chronic pain and i did not know about it. I just thought everyone felt the same (i know, it is stupid).
For years i lived in pain and i just took it. Some would say like a champion but i say like a freaking idiot.

My menstrual period started when i was 13 and actually in the beginning I didn't use to have much pain. The years passed and things went sour. It didn't just happen, it took me around 10 years to realize something wasn't OK. I know, i know. You must be asking yourself "how come?". The thing is the pain was increasing slowly until a point It was too much. If the pain came suddenly I would have noticed, but it was increasing gradually making me "getting used to" the pain.

I went from almost painless periods to "i am about to die" periods.
Suddenly there was so much pain I couldn't walk properly during my periods , and i needed to be taken to the hospital for pain shots and stuff.

Things just got worse and worse with every period and every year. I felt like something was wrong but I didn't know what. there was pain everywhere, pelvis, back, legs, head... everywhere.

I would go to the doctors and i would talk about the nausea, pain, the heavy and dark period flow, but none of them thought about endometriosis. I would take pills and more pills my hormones started to have a mind of their own and nothing. Everything just got worse.

People told me, "go to another doctor ", "get a second opinion", "go to another clinic". Well i did it all, i had a second, third, 4th and whateverth opinion but nothing.

For a moment there I thought it was in my mind. But it was so freaking real i refused to accept the idea of me going nuts.

Well since there was no answer, i gave up on looking for one. I still felt the pain ( not just on my periods anymore, but also during ovulation) i would take few pain killers, I would curse the world, endure the pain and hope it would go away.

The pain killers started to make no effect and, i would say shit hit the fan but the thing is, there was no more shit left.

I was just tired and I didn't know what to do. Maybe i was going nuts right? Well... I wasn't.

One day i went to a new doctor (quite old fella) for a simple check up and maybe a different kind of painkillers and it didn't take him much. I told him about my long heavy dark painful periods and he said

"I think you have endometriosis"
"Endo what?!"