Living with Endometriosis

Miracles happen

When i was diagnosed with endometriosis stage 4 severe, i knew I would have slim chances of getting pregnant. And we tried and nothing.

I would get depressed and i felt so empty while the years went by. One thing is to know you might not get pregnant other thing is to live that reality

It was so painful, and for few occasions I thought " why bother? I am in pain, I cannot get pregnant, what exactly am I doing?" I was too much too deep in pain to see things clear. At that time I felt helpless, hopeless and worthless. So i leaned on my husband to function, i put all my weight on him to get up and keep walking.

I had two degrees in my hand o good job, an amazing husband but inside i was empty. I was like a shell cracking everyday due to the pain. I would try sometimes but i would go back to my depression mode. No matter how hard i told my husband i was ok, he knew i was not.

One day i received a call, i was in the office, and the person on the other side of the line said "i have your daughter in my hands". Just like that everything changed, i have never felt so alive, so scared, so happy, so emotional at same time.

She came into our lives, small, frail, lost, beautiful. She was the most amazing thing, she is the most amazing thing (just like her dad). She was around 1 month old when she came to us and she became the sunshine of the house.

Miracles do happen: you see, I thought i was never going to be a mother, and here i am; changing diapers, always tired (she is such a energetic kid), always looking after her if she is doing something crazy, watching cartoons with her (tv belongs to her now) spending hours looking at her trying to understand what she is saying, answering every time she says "mama" even though she has nothing to say, just that. Seeing her choosing her father over me every time she wants something(because her father is the cool one and i am the mean one. Can you believe that?), seeing her choosing me over her father every time she is in pain (because mama will make everything ok), seeing her dancing with her father like two lunatics, seeing them happy making me happy

She is 1 year and 10months old right now, i get mad at her sometimes, she cries and i get sad. And during all this time endo is till there, pain is still there, i have just focused my attention to my husband and my daughter. They get me going, she gets sick and i am rushing to the clinic, she needs us, i need them. One would think we were a gift to her life, but I don't see it that way, she was a gift to us. Our beautiful daughter may have not come from our blood, but she came from our hearts.

She is the little miracle that changed our lives