Nothing could or would prepare for the day I would see my uncle and witness the pain of the constant unrelenting struggle of inner conflict and struggle.
You cannot control what is nature and what is inevitable.
I won't say the name because nobody should know the name nor the power it has. But what I will say is how it drained him, leeched his soul and spirit from his body and withered him away into nothingness. It's terrible.
Cannot control, what will happen.
Literally nothing could have prepared me for the next few days. I got home, and the day after seeing my uncle I was an emotional wreck. Then the day after that, I woke to the sound of the phone ringing and an unsteady thumping in my chest.
Impossible to control the feelings you feel and the death that occurs in the corner of your room and takes over your entire knowing and feeling because nothing can be controlled and there is no cure.
He'd died that morning, struggling to hold on, on his own. Nobody there to comfort him or make him know that he's loved, he drifted into a sleep and his body stopped. His heart stopped beating and his breathing cut off, a seven year battle concluded in under an hour.
I can't stop this feeling of uselessness and regret, I should have stayed, I should have offered comfort. He deserved more than going on his own and struggling for years.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED. HE DESERVED MORE. HE DESERVED CHOICE. HE DESERVED FREEDOM AND TO BE SURROUNDED BY FAMILY.
YOU ARE READING
Marks and Bruises, with Scars from Cars
De TodoPages from observing people and behaviours and how they leave scars on bystanders in situations, and maybe a page from about that time i was hit by a car
