FIFTY SHADES OF NEW LIFE

Confession

APOV

       Oh my sweet Lord. Christian stand up in front of me with yummy look. He is really the most georgous man in the universe who make me weak in my leg. His casual look make him just like boy in college not billionare himself.

"Hello Anastasia." He give me kiss in my cheek.
"Hey Christian! You come right time Mr Grey." I playfully talk to him.
"Well I dont want late to our first time dinner together. Can I come inside Ana or you just want me stand up in corridor??" Shit! I forgot to let him walk in my apartment.

"I'm sorry Christian, please come inside! Please sit down and feel free like at your own home."
"You had a nice and cozy home Anastasia. Where is your other roommate baby??" There again tue word Baby.
"Umm. Josh stay at other floor in 21st floor, Kate ad I move in here because we want our own girls house and doesnt need feel awkward when Josh new girl friend come visit him."  Its true stay t9gether with Josh before really kill Kate and I. Her girlfriend is pain in the ass with her jelousy issue.

"What you want to drink Christian?? I have jus, soft drinks or wine!!"
"Just water please Anastasia!"
"Hmm wait a moment. And please just call me Ana, I just being called my full name in the office or when I got trouble." I gigling .
"Why and what the different missy??"
"I like being called Ana to people who close with me like my family and my bestfriends. Anastasia is meaning bussiness and for people who is stranger for me Mr Grey."
"So, I am some one who close with you now because you let me call you Ana??"

"Yapzz. You are my friend and you not feel like stranger for me althought we just meet short moment." I give him my sincere smile. I give him the water who he drank in one shot.
"Thank you Ana. You are the first girl who said feel comfortable near me! And it mean so much for me." He tell me with sad face on his handsome face.
"Hey what happend Christian? Why the sad face? Has some body tell you if you look like sadistic person?" I ask him and without control my hand stroke his face.
He lean in my hand and his hand covering mine. He close his eyes and when he open it in his eyes I can tell he want tell me about something big.

"Do you have something you want tell me sweetheart??" I ask him.
"I want to talk about all of me to you baby, but I scare if you will hate me!" He whisper tell me. And I can tell hesistate in his voice.
Oh Lord what is it make this man look so lost??

"Please feel free to tell me Christian or you want we have dinner first??"
"No Ana. Can we talking first because I dont want to vomit after I tell you about me all of me."
"Sure sweetheart take your time. You have all my attention now baby boy."
"But please listen to me and dont run away from me baby! I want to close to you. Please can you do that baby??" He pledge to me and his breath become frantic.

Shit!! He got panic attack. Oh my Christian what happen with you??
"OMG! Look at me baby please calm down take a breath in an out slowly baby. Come on Christian calm down please you scared me. I promise I will stay and not running away from you."
"Promise baby you will not run??
"Pinky swear Christian, I will stay beside you and never walk out. Now tell me your problem sweet boy!! I am all ear."

  Christian tell me all about his past strart from his life with her born mother who left him until when the Greys adopted him. The most make me sick when he 15 y.o the sick pedophile  predator who make him doubt of himself and make him life like he is monster. Oh Christian cant you see if you are far from a monster!!
God please make me strong to hold him. His phobia and his nightmare is the most factor he life his live now.
We just stay silent for 10 minutes after his revelation to me.

I need to calm the situasion now. I cant make him thinking if I hate or disgust at him.
"Please look at me Christian!!" I use my finger to leave his chin so he can look at me. And i cup his face un my both hand so his gray eyes meet my blue eyes. I want him look onto my eyes who tell him if I never feel disgust at him.
"Listen to me Mr Grey!! Listen carefully now Christian!! You are not a monster you are the most great man with big heart in the world and you deserve love from all around you. All the dark from your past already pass now you are new man with mission for make change to be better man than before. All the women from past were just like rock in your life and you will pass it and keave it behind, and never to look back again sweetheart. Now look to the future,the bright future for yourself which will full of happiness, laughter and full of love. You have heart Christian okay remember it dont ever forget it OK!!" I tell him with stern but lovely voice. I want help him in every his step to be better man, and help him to be happy and forget the painfull from  his past.

"Thank you baby. Are you sure you not run from me after what I tell you about my affair with that witch and mu sub or my born drug mother? Please Ana tell me if you not disgust me you look at me!! I really3x change and not the man from before I met you Ana. I never tell my family the start how I introduce to BDSM, I just tell her if I practice that life for alternative from my phobia." He talk me with pledge eyes and look like lost boy who never taste the true love from peoples around him. His scare if people will hate him if they know the true about him make him feel doubt himself if he is true man with big heart. That sick pedhopile really make damage in his soul, I promise to the God if I ever meet him I will kill him with my bare hand.

  Now I need thinking the most perfect words to make Christian understand. If I am not affraid or I will stay with him support him in every step for his recovery. Without thinking much I move my fave close to him and its never like myself before, I feel so bold without say anything I kiss him with all my heart.
I hope he can feel my warm heart heart and make him trust me if I will stay with him.