FIFTY SHADES OF NEW LIFE

New Man

CPOV

               Its like all of my problem being lift from my shoulder after I tell Ana about all my past darknest which I left about a years.
When I tell her about what Elena did to me and what she teach me and the sub she provided for me in the past.
She was become stiff and want to kill Elena for torture and manipulated me.

               The things make me suprised that Ana know about BDSM life style from A to Z.
How much she knows and how come some one pure like her know that dark life style??
I will ask her later but know I still need to get her understand if I already and doesnt want to have any relate with that life again.

             Ana hold my hands through when I telling my story, she keep silent and hear me out without disturb me.
She tell me if I can lean my head over her shoulder if I need which I do it without thinking twice.
I tell Ana about my crack whore mother and her abusived pimp who hurt me and treat me like life astray and always beat me.
I keep talking and stop when I feel my cheek wet and when I tilt my gead I see Ana crying her eyes out.
She said she not crying because pity of me but she crying for children which not deserved bad treatment from his mother.

   Ana stroke my face said if I'm not a monster but I just a lost boy who being manipulated by the bitch which make me cant look clearly.
When I keep continue my story about my ex sub I feel Ana become uncomfortable.
She doesnt look at me and I got panicked, I'm affraid if she will leave me or tell me to out from her house.
I tell her if all I do to them is consensual and they approved it.
Ana know if I got panic attack and she cup my face in her hand and tell me if she will stay and not going anywhere.
But I cant stop it until I feel her lip touch my lip, she kiss me with her whole heart like she tell me from the kiss if she not going anywhere.
    
     "Chtistian please dont panic baby I'm not going anywhere, comeback to me Christian! Please slowly breath in... out...
Look at my eyes baby! I understand what you tell me so dont worry sweety I'm with you."
"Are you not just lie to me right Ana if you not hate me because of my past?"
"No sweetheart maybe I just suprised but from you start life before I can understand you better. Now listen carefully Christian Grey!!
You are not a monster but just a ordinary man who lost his way and now you trying to find the right way to become better man than before.
Now you just CEO of GEH not the dominat who need beat women for sick excuse. You just man who need some one to love and cherised you, and you are your parents lovely son. Okay!!
Now close and burie your dark past and rise become the new person Christian!! I will stay by your side to help you find your new life and support you for become better man sweet boy. Will  you let me do that sweety??"

"Yes Ana. Yes baby please always stay by my side to push me and teach me become some one who deserve love and happiness!!"
"So now Mr Grey, I will ask you will you be my first and the only boyfriend I never had before??" Ana suprised me as she ask me be her boyfriend and what? Her first boyfriend!!
"Baby what you means with your firsh boyfriend? Dont you ever have botfriend before? I mean you re  such beautiful and many mans can resist you right?"

  "Hmmm. No one want me before and I never put any attention to boys too. So what is your answer? Yes or no mister??" She gigling asking me. Her gigling is a beautiful sound in the world.
"Are you serious want me become your boyfriend Ana? Although my past is such horrified you still want me??"
"Christian your every human in this world have bad or worst past and we cant turn back time to change it. What I see in front of me right now is a new handsome man who need feel being loved and need his true happiness. I dont care about your dark past! What I care is your true heart baby, I want to help you create new beautiful life you deserve after all hurt people gave you before. I want you seee if life is beautifull and full of love, so let me be part of it Christian!!" I choke and feel overhelmed listen what Ana say to me.
I never cry in my life but now in front of this beautiful girl I cry like child. I cant form any words to reply her so I just know one way to make her understand my answer.
I kiss her with all my heart and I pour all the feeling I never feel before. I hug her body close to mine, God what I do before so I deserve this beautiful creature??