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it's friday and because of baldroy's flamethrower, me and sebastian couldn't get my dress so after watching baldroy cry at getting his flamethrower getting confiscated again, sebastian suggested to pick the dress up.

"honestly, i don't know what i'll do about those three" sebastian sighs. yes they might not be the best at their jobs but they are wonderful, loyal people.

the carriage comes and we both get in. sebastian complains about the damage and their behavior.

i chuckle and keep quiet the entire ride.

we enter the shop and an old man greets us.

"ah sebastian! i thought you'd never come" he says with a closed eye smile.

"yes well the trio were making quite a mess and it took a while" sebastian says. "my apologies, sir."

"don't worry about it," the old man turns to me. "and you must be lady l/n! i am felix and may i say, mr. phantomhive has a great taste in fashion and a warm heart."

"just call me y/n" i say with a smile. what does he mean by warm heart? he holds up his hand and walks behind the counter and through some curtains only to come back with a mannequin wearing the dress.

my face goes blank. the dress is navy blue and white. this gown... is awfully familiar. my chest suddenly feels so heavy that my hands shake a little.

"well do you like it?" felix asks. "i was able to hide the rips and holes so it's like brand new."

"y-yeah i like it" i say. my eyes couldn't tear away from the dress. "sebastian, i'd very much like to go home."

sebastian nods and thanks the man before giving him a tip. i keep my head down and walk fast to the carriage and practically slam open the door. sebastian comes in as well and i sit at the opposite side, forcing my eyes to stay on the view than the damn gown.

we were originally supposed to stay to try in the dress but no way am i even going to touch it.

"ciel!" i run to his study and open the door to see him writing stuff down. "why the hell did you do that?"

he doesn't look up and takes a sip of his tea before saying, "what do you mean?"

"the dress! that damned dress!" i say, my voice getting louder. "why couldn't you at least let me pick?!"

"family is coming over and we must show our superiority and our crest" he says. i stomp to his desk and slam both my hands on the top, making him visibly flinch. is he fucking serious?

"i am not wearing my dead mother's dress so you can feel more powerful" i spat. "especially the one she was found in! i don't know what the hell is your problem but i am not wearing that."

ciel looks up with disgust. his blue eye meets my e/c ones. he actually made eye contact.

"i should rip out that tongue of yours just like they did to your mother" he snaps. "now get ou-"

it felt like a reflex, a good reflex. my right palm hit his left cheek so hard it even hurt my hand. he stumbles in his chair and just stares at me, taken back.

"you bastard" i yell. "i fucking hate you!"

i turn back and storm out of his study with tears forming. i wasn't actually sad. i was overwhelmed with anger and with no punching bag, i let the tears release some kind of stress. i rush to my room and lock it.

that is as much as i can do. i do not have anywhere else to go so unfortunately, i am stuck with him. hate is not a word that can describe my feeling toward him but it is one i'll use.

time has passed and the sun is almost gone. i have stayed in bed and just thought about everything. the burglary, the hospital and the reporters. i try not to but what else can i do? 

i should rip out that tongue of yours.

then someone knocks on my door. 

"y/n will you be joining us for dinner?" it's sebastian.  i stay silent and get up from the bed. blood rushes to my head so i hold onto the bed post until my vision gets clear again.

"y/n?"

"no" i say. "but thank you."

"ms. l/n, i insist you eat" sebastian says. "it is not healthy for a young lady to miss meals."

it wouldn't be my first time missing a meal.

"leave her alone, sebastian" i hear. it's ciel. "let's go already, i'm hungry."

"master, i'm starting to think i'm more sympathetic than you" i hear their footsteps go away. i just stare at the door. i hate him.

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