hanté

1.9

me and ciel had to share the bed because baldroy and finny ended up breaking my bed, trying to get it through the hallway.

i'm already in bed but sebastian is buttoning up ciel's night shirt. i just look the other way and stare at the ground.

"leave us, sebastian," he says. "and guard this place."

"yes, my lord" sebastian says. i hear the man walk out and close the door behind him. it stays quiet and i turn to see ciel laying down with his patch still on.

"y/n," he turns to me. "i'm sorry."

i see his eye looking at my bruised one.

"did he do this?" he asks. i nod slowly and look away from him. what the hell was he doing? what the hell was anyone doing?

"we didn't know where you were," he says. "we overhead your conversation with the undertaker and thought you had left us, so we went to the funeral home but you weren't there."

he turns to his nightstand and pulls a small note out.

"a note was also left on your bed" he says. ciel hands me the note and i read it.

dear phantomhive residents,

i am leaving the phantomhive manor and living on my own. i cannot stay in this place anymore, especially with ciel. i need to get as far away from here as i can get. do not look for me and leave me alone.

— y/n

"i didn't write this" i say. it would be something i would write. how did alois or claude know how to write this?

"that is why we didn't look for you," he says. "we thought you left us."

i hand the damn note to ciel and he puts it back on his nightstand. we both face each other and stare.

"i wouldn't" i say. i know i did want to before but now this manor is home to me.

"it's getting late, let's sleep" he says. ciel turns around and blows out the candles quickly making the room dark. he turns he back to me so i do the same. i curl up and flinch when i put too much pressure on my leg. i feel him shuffle so i peak over my shoulder to see his struggling with his eye patch.

seriously, ciel?

i stare at him struggling with a simple knot as he curses a few times. this is pretty entertaining despite where i've been the past few days.

"you can't take off a simple patch?" i ask. he clicks his tongue and pulls harshly on the strings. i reach over and untie the knot for him. i turn over and pull the warm sheets up to my face. i curl up and close my eyes.

i didn't realize how tired i am until how quickly i fell asleep.

-

the next morning, ciel had already gotten up but i stayed in bed. i didn't feel like getting up and i was scared to step out of this room.

i had a nightmare, i was back in that room and chained to that damn bed. it terrified me to the core and made me even more scared to wake up by myself.

"miss l/n," i jump at the voice and turn around to see mey-rin. "um master ciel is calling for you to come and eat."

"okay" i turn back and stare out the window.

"i will bring you clothes" mey-rin says. i hear her leave and i sit up. I look down at my feet and almost doze off. i guess i'm not entirely rested. i hear mey-rin's footsteps and she comes in. she faces me and has a magenta dress in her hands with a corset and heels. i look at the clothes in her hand until she places it beside me.

"i-if you could remove your shirt, i can start on the corset" mey-rin says. mey-rin turns and walks to close the door with a lock. "let me know when you're done."

she keeps her back to me and i slowly take off my shirt and slip into the loose corset.

"okay" i mutter. i hear her come behind me and she starts to pull on the strings. mey-rin doesn't pull the corset as tight as it usually should be and she slips the dress on me, pulling on the laces and tying it.

mey-rin turns me around and sits me on the bed. i usually dress myself, apart from the corset, so it feels weird to have someone else dress me.

i can't be so dependent.