CHOOSING.

6. There's hope.

The rest of the week passed with me doing my best to avoid Cathy which was really hard considering we were in all classes together. Luckily, after she realised I was not going to relent, she left me alone. It meant I had to try extra hard to get to classes on time since she was no longer there to book a seat for me. To say I was exhausted by Friday evening would fall short of how tired I really was.

I decided to rest at the park near campus because I was not ready yet to go home and put up with the partying next door. I sat at a park bench lost in thoughts. I watched as several couples came into the park together to have some quality time. Groups of friends could be seen lying on the grass laughing at jokes only they could understand. Sitting there I had never felt more alone. This was not the kind of loneliness I loved, this was the kind I knew I was all alone. Traitorous tears welled in my eyes as the depth of my loneliness sunk into my heart.

"Soni, is that you?" I was startled out of my thoughts by a smiling Caleb.

"Caleb? What are you doing here?" I asked before I could stop myself only to be engulfed by embarrassment when I realised I was at a PUBLIC park.

"Am here to look for an artistic inspiration. I have an assignment to complete and I have an idea what to do," he said with a tired sigh, sinking on the bench next to me.

"What is the assignment about?" I asked with interest. "I know nothing about art but maybe there's something I could do to help," I went on.

"Am supposed to make a portrait depicting strong emotion," he replied. We sat there in silence for a moment in contemplation. Until an idea popped into my mind.

"How about loneliness?" I asked excitedly. At least I could put my recent lack of friends to good use.

"Actually, that's a brilliant idea," he agreed. "Only, how do I depict loneliness?" He asked.

"Well, say there's me seated on a park bench all alone. Some metres away, there are loving couples and great friends all enjoying each other's company. All I can do is sit here watching them with longing but knowing I don't belong with them," I explained my situation in detail forcing a smile on my face to make sure he didn't know how true my words were.

"You're a genius, Soni!" He exclaimed. He quickly dug into his bag to take out his sketch book and pencils. "You don't mind modelling for me, do you?" He questioned hopefully.

"I don't. After all I have nowhere else to be," I smiled. I was more than happy to sit and model for him. This was Caleb, the guy I had a crush on for the longest time. Soon he was sketching away on his book. I couldn't help staring at him engrossed in his work. I liked the way he bit his lower lip in deep concentration, the way he tilted his head thoughtfully as he watched the people in the park, or the way he scrunched up his face when he made a mistake on the sketch. The guy was just adorable.

After about half an hour he changed his position and moved to my other side. He said it was something about capturing the sunset in the background. This time he was not as quiet as before and he sparked a conversation. "Not that it is my business, but why are you here all alone?" He asked.

"I needed some fresh air," I answered lamely. He gave a look of disbelief before lifting an eyebrow in silent question. "Okay, Cathy and I fought. And I didn't want to go home yet since I'll most probably have to put up with my partying neighbours for the better part of tonight." I sighed.

"What did you fight about?" He asked in genuine curiosity. I hesitated to answer. "You don't have to tell me Soni."

"Its okay, Caleb. Cathy thinks am making a mistake by being friends with my nonbeliever neighbour. She even ganged up with Ruth against me," I said sadly.

"Is there anything more than friendship between you..."

"Of course not!" I cut him off. How could he think that? He actually burst into laughter at my reaction.

"Oh Soni, you sweet little thing," he said still quite amused. "I don't see why you fought in the first place. If you're just friends its okay, I guess." He said, going back to his sketching. There was a long pause in the conversation as we both got lost in our thoughts.

"So you don't think its wrong to be friends with a non Christian?" I questioned.

"There is nothing wrong there, unless you allow them to corrode your faith," he said with a smile. "Now, would you look off into the horizon and mimic a look of longing? I want to capture it perfectly, please?" He said. I quickly adjusted myself to fit what he wanted. However, it was now quite harder to put a longing look on my face. I did not feel as lonely as before.

Time passed in silence and the sun sank in the horizon in a couple of minutes leaving us in a cover of the mild twilight. The moon was already sitting in the sky giving off quite a good amount of light. As I sat there gazing at the full moon, I was glad I had come into the park after all. At least I got to meet with Caleb and me realise I was not as alone as I'd thought. I turned to look at him and saw he was biting furiously onto his lower lip as he sketched frantically. As though he could feel my eyes on him, he looked up at me and smiled, his warm and sweet smile. At that moment I knew, there was still hope for me after all.