CHOOSING.

14. Heart to heart.

My days at home passed in a happy blur. Since it was school holidays my mother, who is a teacher and my brother, who is in his final year of secondary school were home with me. We spent days together helping out in the vegetable garden at the back of our house. It was a small plot of land so we worked leisurely at our own pace. My brother was quite enthusiastic about it but me, not so much. However, I couldn't just not help although I didn't exactly fancy getting myself covered in dirt.

Being busy has a way of making someone forget about time and soon enough a week had gone by without me noticing. In that whole week I had managed to completely overlook my problems from campus namely, Caleb and Ombachi. I had gone on about my life trying to fool myself into thinking that everything was fine and the longer I believed this the truer it would be. Well, until that morning. I had decided to sleep in after a day of back breaking weeding but was woken up by the shrill ringing of my phone. Annoyed to no end I picked up without checking who was calling.

"Hello lovely, not up yet?" A voice I could recognise anywhere drawled, Ombachi. I was frozen in place not quite sure what to do. I had been ready to avoid this conversation a little longer in order to figure out what was going on and what I needed to do.

"Um, hello," my hoarse voice answered. "Do you think I could call you back, there is something I really need to do first," the excuse flew out of my mouth before I could think twice.

"Oh okay, but don't forget to call back," Ombachi said resigned. He hadn't missed the fact that I was brushing him off. However, I couldn't be bothered to feel guilty, we would clear things out later.

I tried to get back to sleep but it proved futile. I got up and dragged myself to the kitchen where inviting smells of breakfast called to me. After mumbling a good morning to everyone present I grabbed a pancake and took the biggest bite I could shove into my mouth. Within no time I was reaching for second one and repeated the unladylike manner of eating. All the while my eyes were unfocused, gazing into space. I reached for a glass of milk and gulped it down without pausing for second. Feeling full, I unglued my eyes from space and looked around me. Seeing the shocked look on both my mother's and brother's faces was enough to brighten my mood. I cracked one of my wide grins, patted my stomach and said, "hello folks, how are you doing today," in the stiffest voice I could master. My mother's expression turned into concern while my brother looked like he was about to gave heart attack. Before they could gather their wits and start asking questions I turned and walked back to my room humming 'Amazing grace' quite cheerfully.

After taking a nice long relaxing shower I dressed into my most comfy clothes and got into bed to watch some comedies on my laptop. Halfway through a third episode of a comedy I couldn't be bothered to recall the name, there was a timid knock on my bedroom door. I knew right then it was my mother, Kiama would never bother to knock. I paused the comedy, walked to the door and unlocked it. My mother stood there with an expression torn in between concern and confusion. "Come in, mom," I told her opening the door wider.

She walked in and settled on my bed. I stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do for a couple of moments until my mom patted the space next to her indicating for me to sit. I went and sat there waiting for her to speak, it was not often we had such serious conversations. I fiddled with my hands in nervousness. "What is wrong Soni?" She finally asked, not exactly what I had expected.

"Who, me? Am alright, perfectly fine," I said only that I didn't sound that convincing.

"That is good to hear. I thought something was bothering you but since you're okay I'm going to leave you to it," she said making an attempt to leave.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. I might as well tell her, I thought to myself. My mother and I had always been close and she was the voice of reason when I felt lost. "There's these two guys," I started cautiously waiting for her reaction.

"It's about time," she said quote happily. No wait, that couldn't be my mother. Why was she smiling and not getting angry as she was supposed to.

"Mom? Are you feeling okay?" I asked just to make sure it was really her and not an imposter.

"Okay? Of course not! Am ecstatic. Do you know how long I have waited for this moment? To think you're finally coming to me with boy trouble how can I not be okay?" She looked a good deal happy too so I decided it was safe to go on.

"So I was saying, there's two guys, both my friends. One from church at the university and the other is my neighbour. The day before I came home they had a confrontation, sort of for reasons unknown to me. But I felt like I was caught in the middle of it," I concluded.

"Which one do you like?" My mother asked jokingly though I could see she was serious.

"Um, am not sure?" I said but the look I got from my mother had me chirping away. "I had a crush on Caleb, the guy from church since first year and its only this semester we became friends. Ombachi on the other I net this semester but we became fast friends. I cannot quite decipher my feelings for each of them," I finished saying.

"You want to know what I think, am going to tell you anyway even if you are not interested. All this is new to you and you need time to fully understand what's going on. Just don't rush into anything and don't make any commitment until you're sure. I trust your judgement so I know whatever you decide will be the right choice." My mother advised.

"Thank you mom," I told her pulling her in for a hug. I sure felt better now and more confident in myself.