Lost Love

Chapter 7

The next morning I woke up feeling extremely happy not knowing whether to base my happiness on the fact that I was Christian's girlfriend, or the fact that dad was actually inviting him over. Doing my business in the bathroom, I dressed up in jean shorts, a white top with my flip-flops. I just put on lip gloss with my face bare of any other make up due to the fact that Chris texted me earlier this morning that we would be spending our day at the beach.
I proceeded to walk downstairs to assist Carmen with breakfast when I heard light sobs. I turned around and found out that it was from my parents - actually my dad's room now. I opened the door gently and saw that the room hadn't changed at all.
Far before my mom died, I come to this room every time to wake them up for us to have breakfast together before I go to school. The room was filled with pictures of them hanging on the wall; pictures of their wedding day and pictures of three of us together. The whole house was always repainted every year and mum always chose the colours. The last colour mum chose for their room was cream and light brown; looking at the room now, dad hadn't even bother to change the room colour. The room was exactly the same way mum had left it.
I didn't even know a lone tear had escaped my eyes until it touched my lips. I never really realized I miss her so much. After her burial, I tried pushing the pain aside and focusing all my energy on school work. Looking at the room right now, I realized I really did miss her. She was my role model and a light to both me and my father; the way dad's face would always light up anytime he's around her. I remember the way she tells me stories and our outings together.
That fateful night the accident happened, I remember everything like it was just yesterday. I have been bugging her about taking me to the park. She finally succumbed to my pleas and after having so much fun at the park that we lost track of time, she was driving and I wanted to show her something. Turning her head to look at me, that was when a truck hit the car. That was the moment I lost my mum and it was all my fault.
Crying so hard I heard my name, "Charlotte?" It was my dad
I looked at him with a picture of my mum smiling at the camera. I went to sit beside him and really looked at him. He has really aged. The death of mum really took a toll on him. We dealt with mom's death in our own ways- him burying himself with his business while I busied myself with my studies without trying to console each other.
As I looked at her picture again, hot and heavy tears rolled down my face again and my dad patted my head while telling me it was not my fault repeatedly. While we were in the hospital after she died, I told my dad how it was my fault.

Flashback.......
"Dad? I am so sorry" I whispered to my dad beside my mum's lifeless body
He looked at me with question in his eyes. Guilt ate me up as I looked up at him to see unshed tears in his dull eyes that was once lively
" Dad, I was the one who distracted her while she was driving, it was all my fault. If I didn't distract her, she would still be alive. Dad I am so sorry" I said with shaky voice
My dad just looked at me before he pulled me in for a hug.
"Baby, its not your fault. Stop saying that. I want you to know its not your fault. You couldn't have stopped it"
........Flashback over

Dad looked up at me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. He stared into my eyes and said, "Baby, I want you to know its not your fault. Don't blame yourself for what you could not have prevented. She is gone and we have to move on from our past OK?"
"Dad, I know you are not OK with mum being gone. For a long time I've heard you crying because of her death. You have become so distant. Your eyes hold no emotion since her death,  in fact yesterday was the only time since her death I have ever seen you smiling and-
He cut me off by hugging me tight and we stayed like that for a really long time. I felt myself relaxing. I guess its good to let out all your emotions instead of bottling it in.
We released ourselves from the hug and we stared at each other smiling and he said something which made me smile.
" Baby, you know if we want to start again on a fresh page, we should start from spending time together to catch up on our lives. What do you think?"
I broke into a grin, "I would really like that dad"
I considered suggesting something and without thinking I said it, "Dad?"
"What is it baby?"
"Do you think we can start that fresh page by taking down some of her pictures in your room and just leaving a little?" I paused then continued "Maybe we can repaint the house and rearrange some things?"
He looked at me well before smiling and nodding "maybe we can start this afternoon after you come back from your outing"
"How did you know I was going out?" I asked with shock written all over my face
"I am your dad,one and two, if you were not going out, you would not be in lip gloss and all dressed up. I know you are not a morning person if I can remember correctly"
"Wow" was all I could say. After all this time, he still knows me well- too well
We started laughing when the doorbell started ringing cutting us off
"I'll go get that, it must be Chris" I looked at my dad and told him to get prepared for breakfast before leaving the room