Lost Love

Chapter 38

That was so unexpected. Why is he crying? I was the one supposed to be crying. He was the one that hurt me not the other way round. Something tugged at my heart and I was reminded that I once loved him and no matter how hurt I was about him cheating, if I wanted to have closure, I had to forgive him. With that on my mind, I moved my fingers till they brushed his hand on the table. With that contact, he jerked up and looked at me with watery eyes.
With my other free hand, I brought out the handkerchief he gave me for him to clean his tears. He shook his head and brought out another one from his pocket.
Chuckling I said, "seems you prepared for this moment appropriately"
He laughed along with me and in that single moment, the air around us changed to a friendly one.
We talked about our different lives; where we worked and every other thing. We were just like two friends catching up on each other.
He told me about how Emily left him to go back to Daniel shortly after I left the country. I can't believe I called that girl my best friend- her actions do not add up at all. Anyways, I'm just glad that she's out of my life for good. I didn't want her ruining my happiness all over again.
After a while, I realized that I left Micheal waiting so I told Christian that I had to go. He stood up and hugged me while planting a kiss on my cheek. I wasn't supposed to feel anything but why was my heart beating at an irregular rate? I thought I was over him but I must have been mistaken. A tap brought me out of my mind- it was Christian and he was offering me the flowers he brought. I collected it and went back to the car where Micheal was patiently waiting for me.
Just looking at him made me feel so guilty and I felt like throwing the flowers away but I couldn't. I love Micheal but I was starting to feel something for Christian again. I shook my head and entered into the car. Micheal looked at me trying to search my face for anything but all I gave him was a little smile.
"How did the meeting go?" He asked after a while
"It was good"
He obviously was waiting for more but I didn't want to tell him anything yet so he just pecked my head and started the car. One thing I loved about him was that he doesn't try to force out anything from me- he would just stop questioning if I wasn't ready to talk. But with the way he kept on stealing glances at me and the flowers I clutched in my hands I'm sure I had to tell him sooner but I just didn't know how to tell him. Keeping secrets in a relationship wasn't the best but telling him everything would open up old wounds and I wanted them closed.
We both continued the journey in silence until he got to my house. He dropped me off and without even saying anything he drove off. I must have hurt him; I was expecting him to stay over again.
I unlocked the door and threw the flowers inside the bin. I didn't know why but looking at the flowers made me feel guilty for no reason. I wasn't cheating on Micheal yet but can developing feelings for another guy while you had a boyfriend be qualified as cheating? I felt really confused and its in times like this that made me feel I still had a best friend but I had no one- basically nobody to talk to.
Realizing that I was just moping around, I tried cooking because I felt really hungry. I also had to go to work tomorrow- I was tired of just staying at home doing nothing and even though my boss was my boyfriend I wasn't planning on taking advantage of that. With that in mind, I cleared the used plates to load into the dishwasher and went upstairs to select my outfit for the next day. After going through my dresses, I selected a navy blue gown and paired it up with yellow heels, a yellow bag and yellow jewelries. With nothing to do again, I took a bath and set an alarm to wake up early before reading a book till I fell asleep.