Attaching Hurts

at the park

  Sabrina's P.O.V:

       I decided to go back home, I wanted to pass by the park to have a little walk. What a stupid idea, I regret it so much, why??  

   He is here, my father and he is with blondy Ameber's mommy!!

   Contrary to what I expected, I am not mad, I don't want to run away, to cry and to scream my pain to the world or to simply say " why always me?!" like I usually do. Instead, I think: why not? Dad suffered enough from his wife's death. I can't forget her, who could forget his own mother?!! the only woman who could do anything and everything to see you smile, the only woman who's as hurt as you when you are or maybe more, the same only woman who doesn't sleep when you're sick, the woman who can clearly give her life up for you if she has to do so..

     Dad deserves to be happy, my little bout lasted long enough, he's a good man and a good father, I'm sure that he won't leave me for her and her daughter, we're not in a cendrrella movie, are we? I think that that's what I'm scared of, I'm so scared that he'll leave me for them both, he doesn't know that woman for so long but he seems so attached to her and I heard Amber call him Dad!

   I'll talk to him about that later when we'll be both home, I'll go first and prepare the dinner, I'll make he's favorite meal: lasania. We'll have a little chat around the dinner's table and we'll fix what broke between us, I'll tell him about my feelings, the fear I felt before.. he'll reassure me and we'll be fine like we always were.

   I wanted to go to them and say Hi but I prefered not to disturpe their little romantic moment together. My plan sounds great, I'll stick to it. I just have to pass unnoticed.

  I walked trying as best as I can to hide myself behind the trees, the bushes and the benches. I was succeeding well my hiding mission till I heard that melodious voice, that voice that makes my heart beats faster, that voice that I'd roconise between thousands, his voice, Alex, he was there, I froze, I'd hear him talk for hours without getting bored even if what he says is, I know I'm thinking like a simpleton, it's my fault, I let my walls down like a fool and now, I'm in love with that sweet sweet jerk, what can I do??

   Suddenly adding to his gorgeous laugh I heard a girl's giggle, I let my head out of the bench where I am hiding and saw him hand in hand with Amber having a walk. At this moment my heart was bleeding and all I was reppiting to myself is " how I wish that was me"!

   I don't know how to describe it, all I know is that it hurts, it hurts so much that  I want that Amber blondy to be swallowed by the earth so I could be at her place. Yes, I'm clearly jealous and I hate this situation, how can I wish for some girl's death just to get her boyfriend, even if that girl is Amber Mean Blondy, that just means that I am as bad as she is. I don't want to be bad. One of the last my mom told me before dying is " be nice and life will be nice to you".

   So, if I think about it, the love I have for him is bad and hurtful, I desobey to my mother and I'm becoming mean just like his girlfriend. I have to do something about it before it gets worst and I deeply know that it will, what if I become a brown version of Amber or maybe worst, who knows..

   I think I'm gonna avoid him as possible as I can, it'll be easy, we usually don't talk to each other his sit is now far from mine, so.. and his usually with Amber or with his friends except monday wendnesday and friday, he has a box training... Yeah, what would be a bad boy without box!!

   Okey, let's just go back home. Hold on, I don't hear them any more..

    A hand touched my shoulder, I'm afaired to turn cause I may know who it is, the only person who can make me shiver with his soft touch: Alex, the boy who stole my heart.

   I couldn't stay back to him till forever so I turned to face him, I was right, it was Alex with his usual smirk tap to his angelic face,

  Ok Sabrina, I think you're taking it way to far!!

  Maybe you're right my dear consience, but what can I do? I'm in love!!

   Wow, since when am I dear to you!! Where's the normal Sabrina!!

 C'mon you're annoying, what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm afraid I'm just trying not to show it you stupid!

   Thank god, you're back

   Yeah, now just shut up, you're not helping..

  Why so rude?!!

  I don't know, as I said I'm afraid now that I face him, I feel vulnerable, in love or not, let's not forget that he's a bad boy,  he'll surely play with my feelings if he figure them out, I just can't let that happen!!

  Ok, so I'm living...

  What, NO, I need you, don't leave me alone with him, pleasssssssssssssssse... Ugh, what a useless consience!!

   OK, time to face my demon!!

 -" Hey Petton, what's up??" what a show-off, calling me by my full name! Let's play the same game,

 -" Hi Parker, doing nothing special, just chilling" I said with a what wanted to be a huge smile, but it faded away quickly when I heard his answer,

 -" Chillin?.. behind a bush" then he laughed and I elted but I'm trying not to show it... I think I failed, " why are you blushing?? you're a weirdo Sabrina!".

 -" I'm not a weido, you are, first you call me Petton and now by my name" he laughed again and told me,

  -" Isn't Petton you're name too" ugh, he got me, he's playing me fool, I hate it. I'd better go, I don't need to see his girl coming too.

   Why does it hurt when I say "his girl"??

-" Anyways, I gotta go, I'm late", I said  and as I turned to go away but his hand grabbed my wrist,

 -" Why in such a rush, come with me, let's join your family!!"

 -" Wha... What??"

   I'm sorry for the long absence, but this year is a little hard for me. I'm trying my best to publish, I love you my sweet nounours , thanks for reading my story!!