My Aurora

Ch.5

I saw the man's lifeless body lay on the ground with Aurora sitting up against him laughing. Everyone was running around, screaming. I saw a gun in Indra's hand. She gave me a reassuring look as I went to pick up my precious little girl. I carry her back to our room as I feel an arm snake around my waist. I knew it was Lincoln. He closed the door as I sat on a chair.
"She was fucking laughing, Lincoln." I said as I sat her on the table so she would be facing me.
"She's turning into me, a monster." I say as she plays with my hair.
"You're not a monster, Octavia. You just do what you have to in order to keep us alive and if anyone has a problem with that then you have the right to kill them." He said as he put a hand on my inner thigh.
"She shouldn't witness these things at such a young age." I say as I look into her big hazel eyes. "It's just the way things are for now." He said as he kissed my neck. "I know." I say as I take Aurora in my arms. She starts yawning and lays her head on my chest.
"Is someone tired?" I ask, knowing she won't respond.
"Mama." She said. Me and Lincoln looked at each other. "Did she just say her first word?" He asked as he came behind me and put his hand on her head.
"Yes. Yes she did." I say as I swell with pride. Aurora was starting to get a little big for the crib that Miller made for her. He was working on a bigger one for her when I was last down by his room. I hand Aurora to Lincoln and headed out the door.
"Wait. Where are u going love?" He asked.
"Miller said he was making a bigger crib for Aurora and last I was down there it looked as if it was almost done." I say as he kisses me. I walk out in only black jeans and a black tank top. I've been trying to dress more casual so Aurora gets used to seeing her mother instead of Bloodraina. I walk upstairs to his room. I see a finished crib but no Miller. I walk over to the crib. It was white with roses painted all over it and it had "Aurora" written on the front in cursive. I smiled as I saw the mobil hanging over where my princess would rest her head. It has clay lilies and blue butterflies dangling over the bedding that was a soft pink. It was a place of innocence and peace. I know my daughter doesn't deserve to be down here. She should be up in the sky with her uncle and her family. I don't even think I'm fit to be a mom. Now that I think about, all I really know how to do is change and feed her but what about when she is older. When she finds her first love or comes home drunk from a party when she's sixteen. I can't blame her for those things if she's confined to walls her whole life. Just like mommy, I thought. The girl under the floor. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the metal frame of the door. "Need some help." A voice spoke. It was Miller.
"No I think I'll just have Lincoln come and pick it up later." I say looking at the ground.
"You sure." He says as he comes closer to me. I back away.
"She won't grow over night Miller." I say trying to lighten the mood.
"Ok whatever you say." He turned then left. I walked down the halls to the hydro farm and silently cried. I walked to the back where we grow our flowers and herbs. I brushed my finger tips through the light pink flowers I don't recognize. I stopped when I saw a book in the corner on a small desk with a pencil on the left. It was Lincoln's. I knew he never really had time to draw which kills me to think about. I opened it to see a poorly done drawing of a women with a flower in her hair. I looked at the bottom to see "Aurora" scribbled in black ink. I look back up the page to see an arrow pointing at the woman. Under it was written "mommy." clearly both were written by Lincoln but the picture was her. All her. She was only 6 months and could already identify my nose shape and my hair. And how I hold my sword and my war paint. My heart was beating so fast and loud I didn't hear Aurora crawl through the door with Indra following her. I picked her up as she hugged my neck. She must have gotten out. I know this because I hear Lincoln yelling her name.
"In here!". Indra shouts. She looks at Aurora clinging to my neck.
"Enjoy that while you can. Before you know it she'll be grown and off to war." She said as she walked out and Lincoln walked in. My look glazed over as I looked down at my innocence Aurora.
"Indra's right." I say as I look up at Lincoln. "What are you talking about." He says. "By her being our daughter makes her a target." I say. Silence. "When she can walk. We train her." I say with a cold stare as I put her in Lincoln's arms. "Octav-." He starts but I cut him off. "She has to learn one day Lincoln. In seventeen years who knows what will be waiting behind that hatch." I say. "I know." He says.
"It scares me to, the thought of her holding a sword or a gun and taking people's live away one by one, but people will be expecting her to fight." I say as he puts her down on the ground. "By the time she gets to see the ground, we'll have to let her go. She'll be grown." He says as he takes my hand. Aurora watches the both of us as she plays with the flower petals that fall on the ground. "I don't want to." I say with tears in my eyes. "Octavia, how old are you?. He asked. I jump back at the random question. "Eighteen, why?. He looks to Aurora then to me. "You're only eighteen and you have a kid and you're a commander. Now imagine our little girl at seventeen, growing up in this place, she'll probably have an empire behind her." She says as he lifts my chin. "My mother was never there for me." I say. "You're not you're mother." He says before I can say anything. "Guess you're right." I say as he grabs my waist and kisses me. He lifts up my shirt. I pull it down. "Not in-front of her." I scold him as I look at her eating the petals. I laugh.
I'm surprised I can still make that noise.