Summary: Cherise is unsatisfied with her life, until Franco comes around. Can he rescue her from her ho-hum existence?
What Works: I love the narrative voice, feels very colloquial and frequently amusing. The story comes off Cherise's character is well developed, her anxiety coming through so clearly through her mannerisms. I really felt her nerves.
The chemistry between Franco and Cherise is nice, and their scenes together in chapter 3 was particularly nice.
What Needs Works: Many of the sentences are overly long, and can be cut for simplicity. Dry prose could benefit from more description, especially sensory details. I recently wrote a post on filter words, and why they should be avoided, which I think you could strongly benefit from checking it out.
Also, I am not docking you for this, but the formatting is really awkward. You want a double space after each paragraph.
Overall: 6.5/10 There are some really cute scenes in here, they need a bit of revision to shine.
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