Extra Salty Reviews (Closed)

Only Human

Summary: When humans are seen as little more than chattel, one woman stands out as the favored pet of a royal family of vampires.

Worked for me: The opening to this book was amazing. I was immediately hooked, drawn into your prose and Dayah tragic backstory. I loved the sharp change I saw in her, after what happened. Also, Andrei's chemistry with Dayah is so good. I love Andrei.

Your sensory descriptions were fairly strong, and nicely woven into the narrative as well.

Needs work: The pacing is breakneck, moving from scene to scene with lightning speed, without the buildup that is needed to set the scenes. Spending a little time on transitions will alleviate this.

You need more dialogue tags in your conversations. I was often at a loss for who was speaking. I was also quite confused, because you often had dialogue with a different person's action in the same paragraph. A dialogue tag would definitely help in that case.

I would cut the whole long passage in the first chapter, where you describe each sibling. Keep them for your notes, and include a short intro to each character, two sentences at most.

Overall: 6.5/10 The opening was so promising. If you got the rest of the work at that level (even if you made no other changes) it could easily be 8/10.