Change in tides

16

My eyes flutter open.

I'm alive

Deep down I wish I wasn't. It would be so much easier if I just died.

"Hey" Bella says holding my hand

"Hey" I groan out in a gross voice

"How you doing?" She asks

"Slightly annoyed I lived" I tell her and she looks sad "How's bob?"

The silence is all I needed to know

He was gone a man loved by so many and me loved by none was still alive. This world sucks

"I will go get a nurse" she says and I nod

I close my eyes and the memory plays back in my head as clear as day and tears form in my eyes

The doctors check me all out and apparently I got shot twice in the stomach they even showed me the bullets but I was mute. I don't hurt anymore, I am in to much pain to even feel it anymore.

"Come on Mia be happy your alive" Zac says

"Why?" I ask "the guy I love left me, my parents tried to have me killed both of my brothers are dead the only adult figure in my life died next to me just a few days ago, what's the point anymore" I say

"Me and Bella are the point" he tells me "we are your family and we care about you we stayed here Day and night since you got here and we don't plan on leaving yet, we are going to help your through this" he says

I just stare at the wall across from me

"I'll let you rest" he goes to kiss my forehead but I wince away and he walks out sadly.

It's silent for awhile but I hear Zac in the phone

"Dude I knew I have left you a million messages in the last few days but she is awake and she is in bad form, if your even going to come back now would be the time" he says

I hadn't really thought about Will since I woke up. I close my eyes and I can see his face and my heart aches and I open my eyes and it's gone

"Hey" sam says walking in the door

"Um what are you doing here?" I ask

"My Mum works here" he tells me bringing me some flowers

"Oh" I say

He sits in with me for ages just talking to me about random crap and it makes me feel a little better, but the more he talked the more I started to drown out his talking and notice his features.

His hands wear cuts and bruises just like mine does from when I punched that guy at the party. He has glass in his jacket and a red mark

"Your jacket is dirty" I say suddenly

"Oh yeah I was out the back of the house with my dad and I went to grab Something and feel through the window" he laughs "I should go let you rest, I'll see you back at school" he say and leaves quickly

-

A few days pass and even Rosa comes and gives me flowers but my parents turn up to take my home

"It's going to be good to have you home sweet" Mum says as I get to the car

"Yeah" I mutter

I get home and get to my old bedroom and it's untouched from the moment I left. Clothes lay on the floor and my bed a mess. I sit on the edge of it and stare around my room.

I hate that it's so happy

I get up with haste and start pulling all the photos and posters down and throwing them away. Soon my room has no decoration it's just a shell, it's how I feel.

I don't leave my room for a few days even though I am suppose to be back at school.

At midnight on Wednesday I lay awake, what doesn't kill you leaves you lying awake wishing it did.

I get out of bed and walk out the front door and I got for a walk. I end up walking to the other side of town and I sit across the road from the cafe which is now a crime scene I couldn't even get in to get my things.

Tears form in my eyes as I remember all the good memories there and of bob and will.

I take a deep breath and remember bobs words

"Why are you so scared"

I get up and duck under the police tape and walk inside the cafe. Blood stains the floor and it makes me sick to look at it. I walk up the stairs and to the apartment just how I left it.

I sit on the bed and I take out Will's jumper I hid under the pillow and I hold it to my chest and I sob. I look out the window at the end of the bed and look up at the stars and take a deep breath and start packing up my things.

I leave Will's jumper on the bed as the rest of the apartment is cleaned out. I turn and leave it behind.

I start my walk home, through the streets and I stop when I see it. Will's motorcycle.

It's out the front of an apartment building at the beach front. I look up at the cute building and sigh

I wonder if he is up there

But I don't want to know the answer anymore