Ghost Light

Chapter 1 - Trap Door - James' POV

"So tell me a little bit about this clip you're about to show us," the talk show host said with a kind smile, his eyes wide with sincerity and genuine interest.

Smiling back kindly with a nod, I glanced to the floor briefly to collect my thoughts. This was the fifth interview within the last two days, promoting my latest role in a new series of action movies. The scene was one of the few that was finalized, many going through reshoots prior to this press tour, and more coming after. I felt like I had been awake for days, floating from one microphone to the next, smiling, nodding, and saying as much as I could without giving away anything vital, which didn't leave room for anything of real substance.

Same lines, different faces, new places.

Looking back to the host, I plastered on the brightest grin I could, hoping it would hide the yawn I felt growing inside me. "This clip is from the middle of the movie, and essentially it's the defining scene for me, well, my character, because he realizes there's more to the situation than meets the eye, and really, there's a whole lot more to himself than he knows.... I'm making no sense," I laughed into my hand as I drug it down my face, the audience and host chuckling along with me. "I apologize. It's been a long day- a long week, really."

Waving his hand in dismissal, the host gave a knowing smirk. "Don't worry about it."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "The gist of the scene is it's a defining moment for my character, a turning point for the movie, and it's very action packed, fast paced, I kick a lot of bad guy butt, and it's honestly one of my favorite scenes, so, I hope you like it."

The audience cheered and applauded as the lights dimmed and the scene played on the screen behind me. I turned to watch, but I had already seen it so many times, it all became white noise to me. It was beginning to become that way anytime a new script was sent my way, always the same type of character, the same arc, the same resolution, they all began to blur together and become white noise to me.

This isn't what I wanted to be doing with my life. Yes, I was successful. Yes, I was rich. Yes, I was living my dream of becoming an actor. But I was also alone. Aside from my family, who I didn't even get to see regularly on holidays anymore due to filming schedules, and my dog that spent most his time with them for the same reason, I had no one to just call and talk to, no one to meet up with, no one to to complain about the paparazzi to. Sure, I had cast mates, but they had their own busy schedules to keep, and because of my recent string of shoot after shoot, staying in touch was more than a little difficult.

On top of that, because I always was cast as the hero, the good guy, or the best friend, people looked up to me, made me a role model for their kids. I was high on a pedestal I didn't want to be on, and if I fell, the only thing to catch me was the cold hard ground. I lived a life in the spotlight, always caught in the glare of fame, and I wished more than anything that, if only for a moment, I could have someone cut the lights, and escape through the trapdoor. To get away from the madness, if only for a little while. Away from the screaming and flashes of cameras.

Because the truth was, I was no hero. At least, I didn't feel like one. At the end of the day I wiped off the makeup, hung my costume back on the rack, signed the timesheet, and went home. I didn't save the world. I didn't reroute a train headed down the wrong track. I didn't kick people in the face like my character currently was on the screen in front of me, as I tuned back in, knowing it was almost over.

As an actor, you're always wanting to find a new part of yourself, a new side, something else to use in your craft. But that only works when you have a baseline to go off of. At the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, I don't even know what I see. It's like I'm a blank slate waiting for something to fill me, a new script to write me, a new title to define me.

The lights came back up, and I turned to the clapping audience with a grin, thanking them, and shaking hands with the host as the band began to play the lead out to commercial.

"That was a scene from James Nelson's newest movie, coming out next year - stay tuned for more after the break!"

My phone vibrated in my pocket, signaling a text message. Checking it quickly, I saw it was from my agent.

Got a new script for you. A television series - already has an order for a full season. The producers requested you personally, but the writer still wants you to do a reading first. I'll email you the sides for the taping. Already checked, it doesn't interfere with any other things already scheduled. Let me know what you think after you read it through.

I locked my phone, putting it back in my pocket as the makeup team came to fix up the host quickly.

Television. I hadn't done a series in a long time. That would free up some time to be able to go visit my family, maybe even make it to that high school reunion that was coming up, a chance to get back in contact with my old friends.

Maybe this was how I started over. This was my baseline. This was the way back to who I was.

It was a weird and twisted life that I had to take a step further into the spotlight in order to find my way out of it, if only briefly. I was tired of being a walking resume, 'that guy from that thing', I was ready to be me.

Pulling out my phone quickly, I shot a message off to my agent, hitting send right as the countdown from five coming back from the commercial started.

I'll read it tonight as soon as I get back to the hotel. Unless I absolutely hate it, I already am 99% sure I will do it. Schedule the audition, I'm in.