Forever and Almost Always

Chapter 5: 5 Seconds of déjà vu

*FLASHBACK LUKE POV*

"Must you two consume eachother's faces in front of our much less occupied faces?" I whined as calum and Ales went at it shamelessly. P.d.a was never a problem with those two.

"Don't be jealous because your girlfriend isn't here and mine is." Calum mocked.

I refrained from smacking him.

"Not for long! Her plane was suppose land twenty minutes ago, we need to get to the airport." I flicked Ales's forehead before happily skipping towards the front door and grabbing my keys. I heard her and calum both yell 'hey!' at the same time only making it more funny.

Emily was finally coming and I had passed excitement and went straight to crazy. I don't think they had invented a word for the amount of joy I was feeling. I hadn't seen her in person for weeks, but time worked differently concerning Em. Hours were days and months were decades, not seeing her felt longer than infinity.

"Guys! lets go." I tried to get everyone out the door but at this point my voice was useless because not a single person was listening.

"Guys." Ashton's voice was shaky and horrified. I thought he was just mocking me, but he didn't end with his signature giggle. We all crept into the living room and waited cautiously for him to speak again.

"Look." he barely whispered pointing at the screen. The tv was projecting an image I couldn't comprehend. A plane was in shambles with a list of passengers scrolling at the bottom. 'Breaking news' was advertised in every corner.

"No." Ales broke down into tears. Her small hands clutched onto Calum's shirt and they both held eachother desperately tight almost hoping that if they squeezed hard enough this wouldn't be happening.

My eyes scanned the list and Emily's name dauntingly occupied a small space in between two strangers. My heart collapsed and it felt as if I had been impaled by an entire building.

"It's not her! That's not her plane!" I cried. I ran my hands through my hair trying hard to swallow the lump that had built up like a wall in my throat. My fists clenched and I wanted to punch something and cry all at once.

"Emily." is all I could manage to utter out. Ash and Michael, both crying, hugged me and no matter how hard I wanted to push them away I couldn't find the strength.

**END FLASHBACK*

I woke up in a pool of sweat, my hair clung to my forehead.

"You were dreaming of that night again weren't you?" I jumped slightly not expecting anyone to be in here. Michael sat at the edge of the bed running a hand through his distressed hair. It was currently a mossy green color.

"More like a nightmare. I just remember feeling so fucking useless. I couldn't help her, save her, I couldn't do anything. All I could do was sit there and wait for someone to call and tell me she was gone." I winced at the harsh reminder of my insufficiency to protect her.

"But she wasn't gone."

"A year Michael! I couldn't see her, speak to her, touch her. A whole year her parents kept her away from me, from us. All because of who they think I am. Calum lost Ales because we had to leave and she had to stay for Emily. Anyone who spoke to me was collateral damage. She was in that plane to come see me. I'm like a toxic bomb obliterating everyone in the way." I felt like I was spinning out of control and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find my footing. I was going down and even though I'd found her, somewhere along the way I'd lost myself.

"She loves you."

"Loved." I corrected bitterly. "She doesn't even know me. I don't even know me." I ignored how melodramatic and teenagery I sounded and decided I had earned my melodramatics for at least today. I did almost lose the love of my life to a plane crash after all.