My Life

05/09/18

So as of right now I am on my way to go and check on my grandma's dog, Mickey. Stacey obviously came with, and Nancy came as well.

As I promised yesterday, here is a picture of Mickey.

I am nor really sure about what I should write... my life is pretty boring. I mean, that is the title as of right now anyway.

I asked Stacey to buy me sour cream and onion chips, so I hope she gets them. Nancy went in with her cause she needs to transfer her money to her account. Adult life, just kidding she's only 19.

I have been attempting to do my German project, but I haven't gotten far. I wonder if anyone is ever going to read this? If not, it can just be for me to look back on when I am like 20 or something. If anyone does read this, hello! Nice to meet you. I am an awkward potato and I suck at social situations, hopefully you don't know me personally, if you do, don't you dare tell a soul about how boring my life is. Like, I am already well aware of that, thank you very much. 200 words exactly! Lol.

Listening to Today I Saw The Whole World by Pierce The Veil. You should listen to it, it's pretty damn good. I've come to realize that if I don't come out to someone as non binary soon, I might just explode. No joke. Like, my parents are super christian, so you can kind of imagine how scared I am to tell them that I don't want to identify as a boy nor girl. My one friend, let's call her Ally, she was completely fine with it. She's great to be honest. She didn't freak when I told her I was bisexual, so I didn't expect her to block me out cause I am non binary. We have been friends since the sixth grade, she was in grade seven at the time. She was new to the school and we hit it off. Been friends since then, now we are 14 and almost 15, and though we don't talk that much, we still are good friends. She really is a great person, thankful that she gave me a chance two years ago.

Considering the fact that no one is going to read this, I may as well let you have a little insight on my depression. Lately it has been pretty okay. I still have those voices in my head saying how useless and worthless I am, but then I put on some music and after a while it calms down. Two years with depression teaches you how to tame the demons in your mind. Depression runs in my family. My grandma has it (the one that had surgery), my cousins Beth and Ashley. (Not their actual names by the way). One of the cons of having depression and having all of your feelings bottled up for so long is that you find out that cutting is a temporary way to give yourself pain, and feel something when you have been numb for too long. Wearing long sleeved shirts and sweaters doesn't work very well when you live in a hot as fudge country.

South America is not a place for someone from Canada to live in. I was born here, but my family moved to Canada when I was 9 months old. We stayed until I was in grade two, moved back in 2013 and I finished grade three in Canada, with my best friend of five freaking years, I'm gonna call her Melissa. She is so crazy and odd, but I love her nonetheless. If you're reading this, sorry I didn't tell you about my depression in grade six. I was scared and I didn't know why my brain was telling me those things. Love you and can't wait till I come back.

Speaking of, I am most likely moving back to Canada when I graduate grade eight here. My mom knows that all four of us kids hate it here, so she is pretty sure that we will move when we are done the school year.

So I completely forgot to update this yesterday, guess I am gonna do two updates in one day. Is anyone even reading this?