My Life

23/09/18

So I put a dress on this morning for church... crazy, right? (Photo in media) My mom wanted me to wear one and since I got one that used to be Nancy's, she thought it would be a great opportunity to put it on. It fits and all, it's just very feminine for me. Shawn has to wear a suit and tie because he is singing in church for a school thing, the grade 10, 11 and 12s have to sing today.

  Stacey and Nancy are at my grandma's for the weekend, because last weekend Nancy and I were there, so this weekend it's Stacey's turn to go with.

  Gol by Cali & Dandee is playing. It's such a good song you need to listen to it asap.

You know what YouTuber I have been obsessed with lately? Joana Ceddia . She is hilarious and awkward and everything you want in a YouTuber. She's great to sum it all up.

  So the program is finally over. It was so freaking hot in there! Oh my non existent god you would not even believe me. In one of the songs, they had an English verse or two, finally something that I could understand. Jk, I can understand German and a teensy-weensy bit of Spanish.

  I hate myself

  Like, I really hate myself.

  The thing is, I'm not even entirely sure why. I just hate myself. My personality. My body. My face. Everything. Like, why am I the one who got the cereal box body and baby face? Nancy on the other hand, she has an hourglass/latina sort of body and a matured face.

  At times like this, I re-think everything I have done in my 14 years of life. Sometimes I feel like if I spoke up in past situations, people would have taken me more seriously. They might have seen me as a human being instead of some shy new girl.

  I feel like an obese polar bear (Ashley and I's inside joke btw). I feel so freakin fat I can't even begin to describe it. We are going out for dinner, so I will order a salad considering that that will most likely be the only thing that is vegetarian there.