If my own mother wants to die because of me, why don't you?
Or do you?
Do you think i'm the burden she does?
Isn't that a mouthful to chew?
Learning my mind is running out of glue?
How the drugs deteriorated my brain, my heart, my thoughts of you
Oh you do?
Then maybe you should leave
Save yourself from the jingling of keys
The constant reminder that no one not even my mother could truly love me
Oh you don't?
Then it's gotta be no surprise to me.
That you couldn't love someone so pulled apart
Because of how other men used all my parts
Isn't that comforting?
That i let people use what they please?
No surprise you don't love an old toy
Don't say you do, don't act so coy
Don't say you love me for my mind because that shits been destroyed
Nothing left but thoughts of rainy days and role plays
Of being what i wish i could be
Cause i wish i was anyone but me
Wish i could float away in the salty sea
Enjoy the sun and the waves of negative thinking
Till it takes over my life
My hopes of being a good wife
So its my fault it's going to shit
They're pissed
The people, the thoughts, the life i get to miss
Why isn't there an emotion switch
Please don't say that she's the witch
I can't bare to hear that she doesn't try her hardest
Cause its my fault the crops are dying during the harvest
My fault he's not trying his hardest
To be a part of the family that's been abusive since before i was born
... but it's still all my fault isn't it?
Hold on... let me take a hit
Hit of drugs
Hit of a hand
A hit of reality that i dont wanna stand
God, this wasn't part of the plan
Wasn't supposed to be the one to make him mad
Wasn't supposed to be the one who ran
Im supposed to be the one who CAN
... fix all of the problems
End world hunger
Be my own mother
And father and brother
And i wont fuck anyone tonight
Because i have to act alright
Be fine be okay
Just get on your knees and pray
That i won't take your life away
Too late your happiness is gone
So listen to depression singing you a song
While you think "oh god i hope this doesn't last long"
But it's your fault you're here
So stop acting like you have fear
"You're at bay"
"You're okay"
But i'm still going back to the memory
I'm still afraid
Please please please let me decay
My fault the pain is repay
The karma for being there
The reason i can't make it through the day
Stop stop stop
Hold on
I'm not really here
I'm way up in the air
Watching my body
Watching what its doing with despair
I can see me just laying there
While they don't think twice if ill be able to repair
The wounds being created
My innocence being deflated
If i don't i'll be hated
If i don't i'll be traded
Told to stand there while i was being rated
While i watch my body be vacated
It over it all done
Until the next day when i'm rotated
When my actions are fabricated
By anyone but me
And i followed all the rules
Why am i not enough give me a clue!
Why you use me till you're through
So all these things connect
Like your head to your neck
They're all different shapes of pain
Sizes of hurt
A body of depression forms
As a comforting friend you lean on
Before long that's actually you
Your conscious watching from above
As depression lives your life
Losing your love
Creating strife
Growing every minute you try to cope with the pain
But people tell you that's insane
That you have no more brain
