Hey, I'm Gay!

Another 1960's Crush Oneshot

Many of you know my undying love for Avery, so here's a one shot of my favorite decade
I made one of these in my second book 'Oh Dear, I'm Queer' but here's another

My P.O.V (who else's tho)

Six in the morning, I'm out of bed with my heart beating out of my chest from the anxiety. Why is it always the mornings that I dread? Waking up with the need to vomit. Butterflies perhaps? Possibly. Since there's nothing better to do I should tidy up to start off the day. Making my bed is a necessity in the mornings, it helps calm me down and get my mind going. Starting with the sheets and ending with the pillows I feel a bit more satisfied and head over to my closet across the room. Labels aren't a thing in my world, I don't take on a feminine or butch title. I am simply myself and that is it.

As for an outfit, it is going to be rather nice out. Just some Capri pants and a turtleneck for today. For some reason, my mind wanders to my best friend. Wondering her choice of fashion for the day. No it's not weird, just friends being friends. Back to my morning routine. Putting on makeup is not really necessary, I'll slip on my glasses and be ready to go for the day. People don't stare or ridicule me for my choice of clothing or not wearing makeup. On the contrary, I'm quite likable I would think. I always try to be nice to people even if they're not very nice back.

Sometimes I'll pick up Avery and get to school early so we could spend more time together. Of course I don't have a car of my own, I'll walk with her or ride a bike. School wasn't that far anyways. Today was one of those days where I just couldn't wait to see her. Once I put everything together I set off for her house, which was right down the street from mine. Since it was so early, I didn't knock or ring the doorbell in fear of waking her siblings or parents. This is normal for us, she knows to come down right at this time everyday so we leave. Right on time she opened up the door.

Her soft embrace felt so nice, feeling this eternally would be just fine for me. "Good morning Avery, It's lovely to see you as always." The sudden heat rising to my cheeks felt familiar, a smile always follows. Once again this is just normal friends seeing each other things. I stop to take a moment and look at her, she's cute as a button with her jeans and oversized leather jacket. And oh, would you look at that. She must have gotten toothpaste on the inner corner of her mouth. "Let me get that..." Sticking out my tongue to lick my thumb, I then swipe it slow and soft across her bottom lip to clear it of the paste.

          Avery has matching rosy red cheeks, laughing the sweet and innocent laugh that I love. "What ever would I do without you?" With the loving moment coming and going, we start off for school. Our common interests are the topic of discussion this morning. Of course that includes the King of Rock, Elvis and books that we've read in past times. We'll completely nerd out over them. These moments are the most cherishable ones of my life. Arriving at school would normally make me happy but I can't fight a sad feeling washing over me. Knowing that I won't be seeing my best friend until later tonight hit me right in the chest on the spot over my heart. For a moment I clutch it, then I look to see Avery and all of my current troubles wash away.

          Somehow she's my relief, my motivation to have a good day. With a smile we head over to our lockers which were lucky placed a few down from each other. I turn the lock to my combination and set my things inside, grabbing my books for the first period of the day. Also that old tattered notebook that I'll write in each day. Sort of my diary but I don't vent in it all the time. If I'm bored I'll pick it up and start to doodle. The bell's about to ring for class to start and with a loud sigh I turn to face Avery. Another embrace comes my way, it's normal for friends to hug each other before classes start. Whenever I leave her I feel my heart sink a little. Slowly I trudged to my first class and set my belongings on the desk and grab the old notebook.

9-5-1964

First Period- Still I can't figure out why my heart beats like I'm anxious whenever I see her. Maybe it's because our friendship has grown so close we're inseparable. And you know, I kind of enjoy that. She's coming over tonight so we can work on our home economics project. Baking cookies, yum.
Second Period- Already through one class and my mind is filled with her. Images of her, memories flooding my senses. I wonder if others feel this way about their friends.
Third Period- Why. Am. I. Like. This. These are only certain ways that boys and girls should feel about each other. How could I possibly be obsessed so much with a girl. No it's just normal. It's a normal friendship thing.
Fourth Period- A counselor made a presentation today and made us watch a film. It was the most awful thing I thing I've ever seen. The preaching of homosexuality being a sin. I may not be a homosexual but I sure wouldn't be against it. People are allowed to love who they want. It's not affecting me personally.
Fifth Period- I'm leaving school soon. Accompanied by none other than Avery. I might tell her how I feel. But I don't want to drive her away with my madness.

Finally I'm at my locker and putting my books away, Avery's in the corner of my vision. She waits on me until I'm ready. Gosh why is this so difficult. Upon turning around, she's right there behind me with pearly whites. "Hey! I'm bringing over Monopoly in case we get bored tonight. I will beat you one of these days." We head to the doors leaving school.

         "Not a chance." A small smirk crosses me, I am the ultimate champion in Monopoly. The walk home was rather short and filled with sharing our days. Avery's consisted of nearly setting her hair on fire during chemistry, so that was fine. I opened up the door for her when we stepped onto my porch, she made a joke about being all proper and curtsying before she walked in. It made me laugh. We're not in this era it feels like. Girls mostly wear their poodle skirts or prim and proper dresses. We couldn't care less what people thought of us. So maybe she won't care what I need to say?

          "Avery, do you think we could talk for a moment?" Badum, badum, badum. My heart. Sudden pools of anxiety rush throughout me, joint with the nausea of confession. She stops and turns to me, the face I've yet to see in any conversation. 100% serious.

           "What's wrong? You look like you're about to cry." Avery sets her things down and joins me over to the couch. Her hands over mine felt so refreshing. That was the moment
I knew she wouldn't leave me. "I think I have feelings. Very wrong feelings. But it never did matter to us what was wrong and right. Did it?" Somehow it had all been relieving. Telling her had been a dreaded idea for many of times. Slowly she moved over and the feeling of soft palms cupped the underside of my face. A gentle kiss shared between the two of us. What was this feeling? Committing a crime could never feel so right.

"I know, I feel them too."

Fin