The Locked Note

This

Do you know what I wished Mum,,?

I hoped that cold water will pour all over my heart,

I didn't want to be comforted,
I wanted to cry all the tears that remained in my eyes,
I just felt like I want to....

But I didn't allow them to fall,
Because I -always- didn't find what I missed afterwards.

And human beings,
Mum...
Why being far away from them is so comforting?

They are obsessed with my so called:

.........Beautiful smile?

While I'm forcing myself to keep it upwards.

They -always- leave me behind,
As if they weren't once a part of me,
Only because they found something like me in others,

Do you know mum,
what about those?
I see them all the same,
You can even call them Similarities.

Nothing beautiful about them,
They always say that what matters most is your friendship,

Then they kick it days to even just message you...

Mum,
I don't remember you telling me life is this difficult,
I used to hear you repeat it,
but now

.....I just know it.

"I know it is"
Although I am now 18 years old in winter,

But I understand it so well.

Mummy...
I will tell the days that I didn't live as I wanted,
And I didn't live as I wished.
But at the end,

It was MY fate.