in too deep | [REWRITING]

22| E v e l y n

I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
I promise, I've already learned my lesson
But right now I wanna be not okay
I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more "Just be patient"
It's always gonna stay the same

-You don't know what it's like, Katelyn Tarver

22| Evelyn

The wind played with Evelyn's hair. It brushed past her face, caressing her skin. She closed her eyes and felt it. Taking a deep breathe she let the euphoria wash away everything she felt. But it could not take away the heavy feeling inside her chest. Deep inside, her heart was breaking, piece by piece. There was no escape.

Her neck muscles felt tight and her head hurt because of the lack of sleep. Her whole body hurt. Her eyes stung. Her heart beat threateningly gave signal of an outburst that was coming her away, consuming her senses second by second.

She hugged her knees tightly as the first tear rolled down her cheek. Then it followed one after another. She kept shivering with the impact as tears silently streamed down. She felt the motion around her stopped. But she didn't look up. She was so tired to move a limb.

A hand squeezed her hand and held on. She didn't have to look up to see who he was. She was in his jeep after all.

The attack ended moments later. Evelyn quickly wiped away the tears from her face. She felt lighter than before but she was still stuck. There was still this pressure around her veins that would never go away. That was permanent for as long as she breath.

"I am so sorry." Mason said looking down.

Evelyn glanced his way with the strength she had left in her body. She didn't reply. She watched him wordlessly. He looked older than he was minutes ago, as if someone had dumped all the world's care on his shoulder. He looked trapped.

It is because of me. I am pulling him down to my abyss.

The voice inside her head spoke. Mason was not the most cheerful person around. Maybe it was his parents' death that turned him cold and whatever that happened with his sister. And for Evelyn, he had to go through that again. First her dad attacked him and then Alex. If Evelyn wasn't here, none of these would have happened. He wouldn't have to go through this.

"If anything that I can do to stop you from hurting, just tell me." Mason said looking up with his voice cracked. Evelyn didn't know why she felt hurt hearing that.

"I only make things worse." Evelyn said sitting up straight from her leaning position. "I am hurting you."

Mason just looked at her with his intense gaze. He didn't reply.

"I know I do. Mason, I have always ruined things. I started from my birth. I was not even supposed to be born. Mom and dad, they were so in love. You know, I just get to know that my mom was a Valedictorian. I am sure she was having a good life. Dad and her, they were so happy. Then I have to come. I broke them apart. Now you can see my dad. He is not even living. And my mom, she even left the country," Evelyn didn't know the tears were already rolling down her cheeks.