in too deep | [REWRITING]

05| E v e l y n

I got all these thoughts, running through my mind
All the damn time and I can't seem to shut it off
I think I'm doing fine most of the time
I say that I'm alright, but I can't seem to shut it off
Shut it, shut it, yeah

-Anxiety, Julia Michaels, Selena Gomez

05| Evelyn

Evelyn loved the smell of fresh homemade cookies. It had been ages since someone brought her homemade cookies. When Granny was alive, once in a while they had a bake day. Little Evelyn would run in the big kitchen to help her granny and she would make cookies, cakes, biscuits for Evelyn. She would tell her the secrets of perfect baking which she listened with rapt attention. She couldn't remember them anymore, Granny died and took her secrets away with her too.

Evelyn slumped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Dad was not home and Evelyn had no idea where he went and when he would be back. It left her all alone in the house in a new neighborhood. The situation was not likable.

Last night, she had it rough. Driving Mason to his house, Evelyn met his mother, Carolina Davis, whom she instantly liked. A sweet and kind lady who welcomed Evelyn to the house and told her to leave Mason on the doorstep. Evelyn couldn't but felt sorry for Mason, but Carolina said it was his punishment for going to the party and coming back home with bruises. Evelyn simply loved that lady.

But the drive back home was the hardest. Mason's house was four houses down the street from Noah's. But from Mason's house, Evelyn's house was far.

When Evelyn took the steering wheel during the drive back home, anxiety got the best of her. Somewhere she heard that driving was not for anxious people and that thought was screaming inside her head. The night wind brushed past her bare skin. She felt alone. Her hands got sweaty, her heart beat went faster and her vision blurred. She ended up crashing the car into a lamp post. Evelyn was never a big fan of driving even before her anxiety as his father had a 90's Volkswagen.

Other than the anxiety there were also other thoughts that took up Evelyn's mind that night. All those nights after the party when she would come back home with Quinton. When others kept themselves busy with games, Evelyn and Quinton would vanish, they would climb to the roof of the house where Quinton and Evelyn would look up in the starry night sky. He would teach her how to join the stars to see a constellation.

Last night, the sky was full of stars.

Evelyn shook her head to get rid of the thought and heaved a sigh. She didn't feel hungry anymore so she kept the basket in the kitchen and went to her room.