Silent Pain (Jin X BTS)

~1~

Jin woke up in his room. Him and the others had dance practise today, and Jin was dreading it. The dance teacher would always yell at Jin, he really hated him. Jin got up and got dressed. (They all are in separate rooms for this fanfic just cos) Jin wore a cream coloured jumper and black skinny jeans, he went downstairs to make breakfast.

Sitting at the table was a very sleepy Jungkook with a cup of coffee. "Hey Hyung... good morning..." Jungkook rubbed his eyes. "Morning Jungkook, I'm going to make breakfast ok?" Jin smiled. "Want some help..?" Jungkook yawned. "No thanks, you just drink your coffee." Jin smiled. A little help would be nice, but he saw how sleepy the maknae was. Jin made pancakes. He put 6 plates on the table and put the pancakes on them. "What about yours Hyung?" Jungkook asked. "Oh, I'm ok.. I'll just have cereal." Jin smiled. "Oh... you can have my pancake if you want, I really don't mind!" Jungkook tried to say, but Jin shook his head and just got plain cereal to eat.

A while later, Namjoon and Jimin came down and ate, followed by Hoseok and Taehyung, then Yoongi. "Did you eat Jin-ah?" Namjoon asked. "Yeah, I did.." they all ate, got ready and went to the dance practise.

"Jin! The dance teacher shouted. Jin stopped dancing. "You are doing it wrong! God you are so useless!!" The dance teacher yelled. Jin was really hurt by his words. "Hoseok, take Jin over there and teach him the correct way to dance. God, I'm so sorry for making you teach this useless idiot!" Hoseok looked shocked by his words, but didn't say anything. He took Jin over to the corner of the room.

"You ok Hyung?" Hoseok asked. "F-fine... I'm just getting this step wrong..." Jin sighed. "It's ok, this is how you do it." Hoseok said and then showed Jin in slow motion. Jin copied it and did it correctly. "Jin! You did it!" Hoseok said, excitedly. "Sorry.. that I'm so bad at dancing..." Jin sighed. "You aren't bad at dancing, you are really good it's just you look really tired. Did you eat properly? Sleep properly?" Hoseok asked. The truth was, he didn't sleep properly. He cried all night because online he saw a bunch of ARMY saying about how he should leave BTS, and about how 'ugly' he was.

"I'm ok... just a little sleepy.." Jin lied, he was both physically and emotionally exhausted. "Ok... well, I'll go tell the dance teacher that you can do it now." Hoseok said, he walked away to go tell the teacher. Jin practised a little and got it right. At the end of practise, the dance teacher pulled them all to a side and said "remember you are performing in Gangnam next week. Do NOT mess up." He especially looked at Jin, which made him feel terrible inside.

When they got home, Jin went straight to his room. "Is Jin ok?" Namjoon asked. "He seemed tired as hell." Yoongi sighed, Jungkook nodded in agreement. "He thinks he's bad at dancing!" Hoseok pouted. "What?! Who told him that? He's good at dancing!!" Taehyung raised his voice.

Jin went online. He saw a post of a group photo of BTS.

He read the comments.
'Why the f*ck is Jin still here?'
'Jin is so ugly haha'
'He can't even dance. When will he leave?'
'Hes fat!!'
'So he's not dead yet :('

Jin started to cry. He buried his face in his pillow. He walked out his room and to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He opened the cupboard and saw a razor. He took it apart and got a hold of the blade.

(Warning: this may trigger some of you so if you get triggered easily, just please take care, skip this part if you want.)
He took the blade and dragged it across his arm. He made several cuts, it stung but the pain was sort of relieving. A knock was on the door. Jin got startled and accidentally moved the blade making a pretty big cut, luckily not too deep. "Jin? Are you in there? I need to take a shower.." Jin heard Jungkook say. "I... I will be out now... s-sorry.." Jin stuttered. He did one last cut, and then cleaned them. He grabbed the bandages and wrapped them around his arm, then pulled his sleeve down. He cleaned the blade and shoved it in his pocket, then walked out the bathroom. Jungkook then went in.

Jin hid the blade in his drawer. He looked in his mirror. 'Ugly' 'gross' 'fat' there was a voice saying all those things in the back of his head. He sobbed, soon fell asleep.

Jin woke up to the sound of his phone getting a notification. Jin looked at the time. '00:34' jin read the clock. He opened the notification and saw a message from Jungkook.

Kookie: Jin? Are you awake?

Jinnie: I am now.. why?

Kookie: I'm bored and I can't sleep... also I'm worried about the concert in Gangnam next week :(

Jinnie: don't worry about that, you shouldn't worry...

Kookie: are you worried?

Jinnie: maybe. You really should sleep now.

Kookie: ok... Goodnight Hyung~

Jinnie: night Kookie...

Jin turned his phone off and put it on the table next to his bed. 'When will you leave BTS?!' A voice said in the back of his mind. Jin sighed and fell asleep.

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Hi guuuysss this is part 1 of this story! Hope u like it. :)