What I never told you

Flashbacks

A/N: Hello guys and welcome to my very first story. I'm sorry for all the typos you will find here. English isn't my main language but the urge to write a FanFiction about Colin was bigger. These characters aren't mine but are owned by 1492 Studio. I just wanted to inform you that I won't have time for a regular update but I will give my best to bring this story to an end! But let's stop talking! Here you are with the first chapter! 

A/N 22.08.2024: Hello! Almost six years afterwards I decided to re-write this story. I hope you can enjoy this story with better writing, a better storyline, and perhaps a new story afterward.

Hot tears kept flowing, my heart was still racing. Whenever I closed my eyes I could see Colin's body moving away from me, walking towards the gate. The feeling of being left behind is still fresh. I gasp for air as I think about the moment, my promise to wait for him, and how everything changed suddenly. The feeling of loneliness overcame me as I realized once again - that I was pregnant with his child and he wasn't here. Colin wasn't here. 

Adam was currently sitting next to me, his beautiful, usual soft eyes showed anger. Not towards me - but towards his best friend who left me and him for the music. It was kind of ironic, that we both lost someone to the music.

,,I will call for you and scream at him," he said, still sitting next to me in my apartment. When he called me this morning, because I didn't respond in our group chat, he decided to call me.

Of course, I had been crying for hours so he immediately noticed that something was wrong and came.

My eyes were red and swollen, my voice trembling.

I thought about what Adam said - well, I would also like to call him, scream at him. Tell him, he's losing a family.

But still - not telling him was the right decision.

He took Music over me, left the Company without telling me, and expected me to wait for him.

I looked up to Adam ,,I am sorry, that I can't go out to drink with you. I forgot something..."

Back were my tears, who was I kidding, I didn't forget that I was pregnant with Colin's child. I will have a newborn in nine months to remind me daily.

,,Y/N..." Adam mumbled he was unsure what to tell me ,,Tell me, what's wrong. I want to help you."

Adam's voice was so reassuring that I decided to share my secret with him...

Four months later the band and our closest friends were sitting in a restaurant outside, it was a fresh summer night while we stayed outside. Adam's hand was protectively on my swollen belly while his jacket was over my shoulders keeping me warm.

Lisa was currently busy flirting with Chris, the new singer.

A few days after Colin left us, we somehow met Chris and despite me being unsure at first, I fell in love with his voice.

At first, I compared everything to Colin, but after a while he made me realize that he was very good in his way - even Doris fell in love with his voice.

We were a group now, a real group and the dynamic was a better one.

Well, at least now, a few months ago - when we told them that Adam and I were having a baby, Doris was so pissed that she smashed her glass on my floor.

I didn't want to know how her reaction would have been if we had told them the truth. The only person who knew about our secret was Lisa.

She understood why I decided not to tell Colin that he would be a father.

The whole time I was telling myself, that this secret was being kept because I didn't want to hold him off, take a child to bind him to me. But the truth was, that I didn't want him to stay by my side because he felt like he had to.

He chose Music over love, how could he love this child, if this would be the reason why his future got chaotic in the first place?

Thinking about the situation, made me probably look a bit sad because a little bit later Adam asked me if I was all right.

,,Y-Yeah, just sleepy," I told him, my eyes always following Matt, who was pretty drunk after his fifth beer. He was kind of making me lose concentration with his senseless blabbering.

,,Shall we go, my queen?" Adam made me look back at him, his hand was still on my belly, his whole concentration on me.

,,Yeah, I guess that would be good!" I smiled and hugged his arm, snuggling with him.

Over those past four months, I noticed how much I did like Adam, and I would lie if I said, that I didn't genuinely like him.

This was more than just a friendship.

It was different. I still loved Colin, just like I still loved Sam, but these were past loves, different types of love.

It was stronger with Adam, and the fact that he was doing this with me, having a commitment with a woman pregnant by his best friend, was a lot.

Adam's eyes searched for Owens, nodding at him.

Owen was his friend, and after we made it officially, I also got to meet him.

He was kind of...weird. But to be honest I never really paid attention to him.

,, Bedtime guys, we're off. Come on, queen," Adam said and helped me up. I still blushed whenever he named me Queen.

Adam took my hand but quickly noticed that he had to put an arm around my waist. Even Owen helped him to support me and while the way to the car was bumpy, it wasn't the reason why I was walking odd. I suddenly felt weak, as if someone sucked off my energy.

,,I still can't believe they're going out. Way to go boy!" Matt screamed behind us, he was the one who was shocked the most - I knew that he had some odd thoughts about this, but I also couldn't tell him the truth. I knew my friend, I knew that he would have talked too much and that something would have still reached Colin.

This was a risk I couldn't take - our band was growing, and having Colin around us would make everything chaotic.

I was also a bit enjoying our growing fame, while Colin's wasn't as good as he thought and with these thoughts, my mind drifted away in the car while sleepiness slowly overtook me.