Supernatural One Shots

Dean x Cutting! Reader

T R I G G E R ***** W A R N I N G S

*** C U T T I N G ***

  There was a muffled sob from behind the door.
That's not good. Dean thought.
It was the bathroom and that wasn't a sound that was supposed to come from a bathroom.
You sat on the floor leaning against the shower door and looked at your arms. It hurt, but it felt satisfying. You let out another sob and tried to cover your mouth.
Dean placed his hand on the doorknob. He knocked.
"Hey, _______, are you okay?" Dean asked.
You looked at the door through blurry eyes with panic. You forgot to lock it.
"F-fine, please, just go away!" You managed to choke out.
Dean could hear the cracks in your voice.
"I'm coming in," Dean said.
He turned the doorknob.
You pulled your arms up to your chest, but the blood was dripping in a spiral around your arms. Dean stared at you for a moment in shock. The blood on your arms, the tears that wouldn't stop falling, Dean didn't know what was happening. He looked at the sink and saw one of the blades he used for shaving, out of it's box and bloodied.
"_______ . . ." Dean trailed in disbelief.
Your tears fell harder. Your arms dropped and Dean saw the cuts, 5 on each arm, one for each year you'd been in pain. He dropped to his knees in front of you and gingerly took your arm. He leaned back and pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink and started to fix you. He took out a disinfecting pad and looked you in the eyes.
"This is going to sting," he warned and pressed the pad to your arms.
The whole time, you watched him. You had no idea what he was thinking. Was this routine care for him?
He's only doing it out of pity. You thought. More crying came.
Dean was now dressing the wounds. When he was done, he held your wrists gently, staring at them. He couldn't fathom anyone, especially the strong woman you were, doing this to themselves. He let go and reached to you and picked you up bridal style. You were still crying and Dean felt his eyes beginning to tear up.
Why is he so silent? You wondered.
You got into Dean's bedroom and he sat down. He held you close to him and you sat in his lap.
"Why did you do this?" Dean whispered.
"Please don't hate me," You muttered.
"I could never hate you. Why would you hurt yourself like this?"
"I'm sorry," You repeated over and over again.
Dean couldn't have held you any closer at this point.
"Please don't do this again. I . . ." Dean swallowed, "I love you too much to lose you."
"Don't say that, Dean. Don't you dare."
Dean felt tears slip out. It was true, he didn't want to lose you. Ever.
"No, _______, I love you and you are important. I don't want you to ever feel like you're alone."
You held a fistful of his shirt. You shifted so you were now straddling him. Your arms wrapped around his neck and your head rested in the crook of his neck.
"I'm not going to make you stop, that would be impossible, just come to me if you ever feel like this again, okay?" Dean said, holding you tightly.
He felt you nodding.
"I need you to promise me." He said softly.
There was thirty seconds of silence.
"I promise, Dean." You gasped.
He held you tighter. He involuntarily started rocking back and fourth. He was rubbing your back to get you to stop crying.
"I don't want to lose you, okay?" He said.
You did eventually stopped crying. You were trying to catch her breath now. Dean grabbed your hips and pulled you off of him. He scooted back to lean against the pillows and you came with him. Your head rested on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around you.
"I love you, _______." Dean said.
"I . . . I love you too, Dean." You said hoarsely.
He leaned down and kissed you forehead. Eventually you fell asleep. You held on so tightly to Dean's shirt. He couldn't believe that you were feeling that bad. He couldn't stand seeing you in that fragile state. He felt whatever remained of his heart break at the sight. He wanted you safe, because, after all, he did love you.  

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