A Study In Sleep

Chapter. 28

Why did he have to get jealous, the woman was only flirting, people teasing him. He is a 38 year old man, who couldn’t even control his emotions.

Sherlock slipped a cigarette out of his coat pocket, lighting it instantly as he anxiously began to take draws from it, becoming more angry and upset.

John slipped headed over and through the doors and heard the detective pacing about.

Sherlock was pacing as he smiled, talking to himself like a madman. He was trying to calm himself down, stop himself from being so jealous and possessive. He just wanted this man more than anything, John was /his/ everything.

"Everything alright out here, love?" John asked, looking to his curly haired boyfriend. Coming to stand and lean slightly against the wall as he watched his partner slightly. A slight frown on his face.
Sherlock instantly stopped and snapped his head towards the soothing voice of his boyfriend and instantly he tried to hide the cigarette behind his back.
“U-Um y-yes...” he failed to lie, his blue eyes full of jealousy and hurt still, the man obviously affected by what had just happened.

"You know you're a bad liar, right?" John smiled lightly, looking to the cig in Sherlock's hand and offered his own hand out to take it from the detective,
"Cold turkey, remember?" He gestured to the cig.
Sherlock sighed with a deep blush as he handed John the cigarette. Before pulling out the packet in his pocket and also handing it to him.
“Sorry...” he mumbled, the word having two meanings - one being for the cigarette and the other the way he reacted.
"It's okay.." John replied softly taking the packet of cigarettes from the madman and pocketed them,
"You've no need to get jealous.." he spoke softly, taking a hold of Sherlock's cold hands, "I would never hurt or even leave you, and they would never change that.." he murmured.

Sherlock held tightly and closely to John’s hands as he gazed down to him with the widest blue eyes, the words hitting him in his chest.
“Sorry... I.. I can’t help but become... possessive and jealous.. I just.. I’ve never had... anything like this in my life.. John... and I just..” he paused as he sighed in a growl of annoyance as he tried to find his words.
“It’s like... when you find something... and you want to hold on to it for as long as possible and keep it safe and cling to it... t-that’s me.. John.. you’re everything to me and if I lose you then what do I have?” He broke slightly, emotions for once getting the better of him.

"Hey, hey.. Hey." John hushed softly, caressing Sherlock's hands slightly, "you will never lose me, Sherlock.." He gave a small shake of his head, pulling the madman's hands to his lips and placed a gentle kiss, "Never.."

John definitely knew where Sherlock was coming from, what it was like to lose somebody.

"Now, how about we solve this case and then get back to the flat and resume where we left off?" The blogger suggested, humming slightly as his own ocean blue eyes met Sherlock's.

Sherlock blushed incredibly when John promised his every word, blue eyes bright and so innocent as he gazed to John, watching him kiss his hand. At the second part Sherlock’s heart leapt out his chest and all he could do was nod in agreement, meeting John’s eyes intimately for a long moment.
“P-Please...” he whispered before he held to John’s right hand, refusing to let go at any point. He found great comfort in holding it and it reminded him that John was his and vice versa.

***

After 6 hours the detective and his blogger returned back to 221b, Sherlock hanging up his coat and he instantly began to pace once again, just like earlier in the day at the beginning of the case. His slender fingers were in a steeple formation against his lips and he paced in a six  step rhythm between the fireplace and the coffee table. He was mumbling slightly to himself still all because he couldn’t keep his jealousy down nor his constant worry. It ate at Sherlock and he couldn’t switch it off. He didn’t know how to stop, though he was extremely protective over John, as well as possessive, wanting to have him close always and Elizabeth at the case today was a prime example of why Sherlock had every right to act the way he did. She was flirting, he was jealous and he didn’t know what to do and he still doesn’t.

Unfortunately the blogger was having enough of it, and sighed as he looked at the madman.
"Sherlock, will you, please, let it go?" He huffed slightly, "it was only six hours ago and it's nothing to stress over." He mumbled.
Sherlock snapped his head to John at this as he paused walking, the anger and fear on his face and he opened his pressed Cupid lips, a heavy huff leaving his lips.
“How can I let it go? A woman was openly flirting with you. How do you expect me to be okay?” He stated firmly as he resumed pacing, fingers returning in a church steeple formation against his lips.

"Sherlock, look, I know you're finding it hard. And I know what it's like but you need to learn to control yourself.." John spoke, gesturing with his hands slightly as he stayed stood.
Sherlock snapped around again at this, blue eyes wide and a scowl on his face. He was angry and frustrated and he didn’t know how to control it..

“And how the hell do I do that? So I am suppose to just let another person flirt with my boyfriend? Why did she do it John? Why?” the detective snapped slightly.
"Because it's what humans do." John ended up snapping back, "They.. they flirt, they lie, they do anything to make people hurt." He spoke, huffing slightly, "it's just easier to ignore them and not give them attention. It's what they want." He pointed out.

Sherlock watched as John snapped at him and this only made him more agitated.
“I can’t just ignore that!” He gestured with his hand as he pointed to the window, snapping back once again as he walked to the fireplace, blue eyes full of anger.
“I don’t care if that’s what they want! They shouldn’t be flirting with you! Not now and not ever!” He panicked, the man not understanding that this was natural in life. This was all new, and he was possessive for very good reasons. He was scared he wasn’t good enough considering Mycorft made him feel like that.

"You really don't know human nature, do you?" John asked, his arms crossed as he watched Sherlock closely.
Sherlock’s eyes were full of hurt at this but he scowled, anger flooding over him.
“No I don’t! Try having Mycroft for a brother!” He snapped harshly back, now extremely offended over the comment.
“I have every right to be acting like this! I can’t... take that and forget it or ignore it! My mind does not work like that, I don’t understand, I don’t... I can’t ignore that flirting!” He snapped, though he was beginning to grow more frustrated and panicked.
"And why can't you ignore it?" John asked, furrowing his brows, "I can." He paused for a moment,
"why?" He asked once more, his voice breaking and eyes looking at Sherlock softly. Almost equally as hurt but also filled with anger.

Sherlock snapped around at this once again, the words falling from his lips immediately without any hesitation.
“Because I love you!” He bellowed into the room, those three little words spoke with such emotion and confidence that it caused the room to even split in half.
“Because I love you.” He broke with John, eyes now as soft as a baby boy’s blue blanket as his chest rose and fell rapidly. In that moment, Sherlock wanted to prove it, wanted to prove he loved him and his blue eyes flickered back and forth between John’s eyes and lips, the urge and need for the man so strong that he almost began to cry. He loved John Watson, that’s why and he never wanted to be without him, never again.

John stood frozen still, his own eyes glassy and the room seemingly split in half. That was when few tears fell from his own eyes before he leant in and placed a small peck on the detective's lips,
"I love you too.." he murmured softly, wiping Sherlock's tears away with his hand softly, "I love you so so much..."
Sherlock managed an emotional smile, eyes fluttering closed at the brief kiss before opening them once again, shifting his eyes a little to gaze deep into John’s eyes, noticing his tears and he lifted his large, soft hands to brush the tears that fell away as he sniffed.
“I love you so.. so much, John.. I can’t.. live without you...” he broke softly, before he stared at John’s lips, looking ever so inviting and Sherlock wanted this, more than he could ever explain. He had done nothing like this in his life but with John, he wanted this more than anything.

"Me neither.." the blogger whispered back, leaning in to kiss the madman oncemore. Closing his eyes as their lips met, his plump warm ones against Sherlock's soft cupid bowed ones.
"I'm yours, handsome, however long you want me.. I'm yours." he murmured into the kiss.

John wanted every bit of the madman, from the crazy personality to sharp cheekbones. He was the definition of perfection.. well, his idea of perfect anyway. He had only been craving this for years, ever since they ever met actually. Ever since that fateful day.. which also reminded him that he needed to thank Stamford somehow.

"Please..?" he found himself saying, for some reason, "may we have this?"