DESTINED ✔️

Chapter 16: The Truth

I couldn't really move from my bed because of a few reasons. One; I hadn't eaten for a few days so I was really weak and a bit sickly. Two; I didn't really want to. And three; I was in such shock to see a man like Jin so broken and vulnerable in front of me, I wasn't really sure what to do. He stayed down bowing to me as he continued to cry...the sound of him in such pain was like a knife to my heart. Regardless of how I was feeling, this was only making it worse. I scooted closer to the end of the bed with the little strength I had.

"Jin." I whispered.

Which ony made him cry harder.

"Jin." I said with a little more sturdiness. "You need to get up off the ground."

He shook his head placing his forehead on the floor. His crying began to slow and his shoulders started to go up and down at a normal pace. Finally he leaned back a bit and lifted his upper torso as to look at me. When he did my heart broke even more causing me to have to look away from him. Tears built in my eyes and I had to suppress the urge to cry, only allowing tears to fall.

I looked back at him and he was staring at me. I couldn't read his face...although...maybe it was my malnutrition that caused my body language reading skills to falter.

"I thought you wanted to talk." I said more coldly than I intended. "So talk."

He bit his lip and looked down taking a deep breath before he looked back to me. "I never should have left here Friday night." He swallowed thickly and I froze at his words unable to do anything but listen. "Walking away from you...running like I did...was the absolute worse mistake I've ever made. I should have held you...I should have kissed you and embraced you and your feelings."

"Then why didn't you?!" I interrupted loudly.

"I was scared." He whispered taking me by surprise. He looked down at his hands again as he spoke. "No one...no one really ever said that to me before. I said it to my ex a few times and she'd always kiss me after but she never said it back." He looked back up to me. "I really, really like you. You are the most beautiful person inside an out, I have ever met, and your heart is even better. You're kind, and fun, and being around you makes me happy. Hearing you laugh gives me goosebumps, and seeing you smile melts my heart. Everything about you turns me on and like I've told you before you make me feel like a man.  And I know you saying what you did meant a lot to you...I just...I just want to be SURE that I feel the same way before I say it back."

"I didn't say that so you would say it back." I said still a little too stern after that beautiful explaination.

He nodded sadly. "I know that now."

We sat there in silence for a while just looking at each other. I hated being this far away from him. Hated being in this situation. Hated feeling like this. I turned away from him wiping a tear from my face. "Now what?" I asked him. He looked up at me with hope in his eyes. "Where do we go from here?"

"We could start over." He said in a small voice. "I could earn your heart again."

I wiped away the rest of my tears and sat on my bed facing him. I looked at him for a long time in deep thought. I DO love him. I love everything about him. Even his faults. But here...right now...him being on his knees being completely open, made me want to kiss his pain away. I took a deep breath and looked at him with a stern look.

"No."

His shoulders fell and his eyes saddened. His hands fell to his lap as he sat there, and it seemed as if he was going to cry again. "What?" He choked out.

"I don't want to start over Jin." I took another deep breath before continuing. "I want to move past this...learn from it...and keep going as we were." The hope had returned in his eyes and a slight smile started to creep on his lips."