Moving In

Old friends

Chapter 20

Axel's POV

My fingers brush through her soft silky black hair, as I try to memorize how this feels. How she feels. Tucked in my arms fast sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Her cheek pressed to my chest as one of my arms wraps around her, pulling her closer to me. I just needed her close even if it's testing me.

She is wearing nothing but my shirt and a pair of lace panties that I discovered brush against my thumb as I rub circles on her porcelain skin. Her chest pressed into my side with a flimsy shirt as a barrier. I clench my jaw as the shirt slides up her side again as she moves gently in her sleep.

God this is the devil's work. Tempting me. Waving something in front of me that I cannot have, not yet at least.

I sign and ignore the instinct to swoop down and kiss her awake. She needs the sleep, even if I don't get a wink. There is no way I can calm down enough to sleep much tonight anyways.  I had said it didn't matter. That I was okay because she was here now with me and safe.

I lied.

Every time I am about to close my eyes, right before the fade, I jolt awake. My hands immediately searching for the spot next to me. Expecting it to be cold and empty like that morning when my heart ran out of my chest to follow her. It's like ice water is thrown onto me every time.

So instead of sleeping, I am memorizing this. In case she slips away again and it might be some time until she is back.

I will always find her, always follow her, but she is used to running and I am unfamiliar with the chase. Meaning if she wanted to, she could make it very difficult to find her again. But I would. Somehow.

She murmurs something in her sleep and I watch as her eyebrows furrow before she pushes herself even further into me. I smile at the hands down most adorable thing I have ever seen.

I glance at the clock debating if it was close enough to dawn to kiss her awake without it being too early. I groan as the clock shines back not even 3:30 am.

It's officially Saturday, meaning the bills are due tomorrow and if the checks bounce or the card gets declined we are screwed. Mason has picked up the slack too often nowadays. I know mom has the money, but she doesn't seem to be in the real world half the time. Due dates aren't on her radar.

She freaked out when I threatened to call him, knowing it will end in a brawl between the two of us, but it usually made him feel guilty enough to pay the bills for this month and next.

"What are you thinking about?" I hear the soft hum of her voice. It's like a siren and I could never turn away or ignore it.

I glance down to see her chin now resting on my chest so she could look at me, but her eyes are still heavy with sleep. I can tell she is fighting it.

"You're awake," I comment and she shrugs.

"You stopped playing with my hair," she says as if it was an obvious reason.

"And that woke you up?" I ask with a smile teasing at the corner of my lip.

She shakes her head slowly, "no but it means you were thinking. You only space out when it's something serious. Must be important," she says and for some reason, my chest squeezes.