ten: stressed
"Sawyer Benjamin, if you don't stop running you are going straight to timeout once we get home." Harry calls after his youngest son, letting out a sigh as Sawyer pays no mind to the threat and runs towards candy aisle in the grocery store. Harry was about at his wits end, all three of the boys seeming to be misbehaving in their own special little ways. Kian kept pulling on Harry's sleeve, asking over and over again if they could get chocolate ice cream. Grayson was about to throw a tantrum after Harry refused to go down the toy aisle and Sawyer was running to pretty much any section of the store he seemed interested in. Harry had originally planned on leaving the boys at Anne's while he shopped, but his lunch with Liam had gone a lot longer than he'd planned and Anne had a party she was supposed to go to that afternoon. He was really wishing that he'd just waited until Niall got back, but they were running low on things and Harry wasn't in any mood to deal with even more tantrums at home.
"No, Mummy!" Sawyer screeches when Harry grabs his youngest by the hand, practically having to drag him towards the shopping cart. Harry tries his best to keep calm, knowing that yelling doesn't solve anything but he wasn't sure how much more of it all he could take. He felt like complete shit, his head pounding and only getting worse with every scream coming from one of the three boys. He felt like he was about to have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, unable to take it anymore when Grayson finally blows his top.
Harry doesn't care that he didn't get any of the things they'd come for, dragging all three boys out of the grocery store and straight to the car. He tries his best to keep his composure as all three of them continue to scream as he straps them all into their seats, his grip on the steering wheel as he heads home tighter than usual as he takes in deep breaths. He doesn't feel any better by the time they make it home, the twins still throwing their tantrums while Kian keeps begging to go back for the same damn ice cream.
"Kian, take your brothers and go inside." Harry practically demands from his oldest after he gets the twins out of their seats. Kian looks like he might protest, but being the easiest of the three kids he did was he was told. Harry allows himself to breakdown once they're inside, tears falling down his cheeks and his chest tightening because there was just no way it should be this bad. He'd been a father to three kids for three years, this wasn't the first time the twins had a breakdown in the middle of the grocery store and he was certain it wouldn't be the last. So why was it hitting him so harshly? He felt so overworked and stressed, sick to his stomach to the point where he wasn't certain when the last time he actually ate something and kept it down. He felt bad for dragging the kids out of the grocery store like he did, leaving the cart in the middle of the hygiene aisle without a second thought. He couldn't even bring himself to go into the house yet, looking at the door that lead inside before breaking into more sobs. He didn't understand what was going on, hating the fact that he wasn't even capable of taking care of his sons properly without Niall home.
How on earth were they going to handle a fourth? Harry didn't think it through at all, he should've thought it through...
Eventually Harry drags himself into the house, frowning at how quiet it was as he did so. Harry runs a hand through his hair as he heads to the bathroom, scrubbing at his face so it didn't look like he'd just spent the past ten or so minutes having a breakdown in the car before he goes in search of the boys. He finds them all in Kian's room, laying on the floor as they play on the car rug that Niall had gotten Kian when he turned four. The twins seemed to be over their little tantrums, making car sounds and giggling every once in a while. Kian looks up after a minute of Harry standing in the doorway, giving him a soft smile that made Harry feel even guiltier. He shouldn't have made Kian handle the twins, he should've been able to do that himself. It wasn't fair of him to do that... Kian was a kid too.
And maybe that's when Harry understands why Niall thinks it's important to share Nevaeh's birthday with the boys, the three of them completely oblivious to something that impacted their lives even though Harry didn't want it to. In Harry's desperation to keep Nevaeh's death between just Niall and himself, he'd never truly opened up to anyone else about it... so maybe Niall wasn't completely crazy about wanting to include the boys, the secret that Harry really shouldn't keep nearly eating him alive as the day draws closer and closer.
Harry finds himself agreeing that it's time that night as he puts the boys to bed, thanking Kian for helping with the twins before he kisses his cheek goodnight. Kian whispering a very tired "I love you, Mummy." as Harry walked out of his room being the deciding factor.
It was time.
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oh pickles.
idk what i'm doing. this was... this was... idek. BUT AYE, HAROLD IS GONNA FINALLY LET HIS BOYS KNOW ABOUT THEIR SISTER sorta.
um. dedication goes to AbbiOfficial_
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Full of Love (sequel to Baby Hungry)
Fanfiction"At the end of the day, all I want is to be right next to you."
