66 Text Notes - BTS HYYH

Namjoon Text Notes

15 May, Year 20

~by @TXYfifteen

I went to the warehouse classroom that we claimed as our secret base, and always go to. I picked up a few chairs when I made my way in. I set the toppled-over table upright and patted off the dust on top of it with my palm. To humans, separation is always sentimental. Today was the last day of school and also two weeks till we move away. I don't know if I will ever come back here or whether I will be able to see my hyungs and dongsaengs again. I folded the paper into half and placed it on the table. Although I held a pen in my hand, I didn't know what to write. Time passed by. After writing some meaningless words, the pencil lead broke with a "tu" sound. 

'You must survive.'

I unconsciously doodled those words on the paper. Among all dark lead powder and doodling, I got reminded of poverty, parents, dongsengs, moving and other messy things.

I folded the paper into a ball, put it into my pocket and got up from my seat. Dust was everywhere again when I replace the table back. As I got ready to leave I fogged up the window with my breath, and wrote 3 words. It is not enough at the moment, but it can be conveyed to everyone even if unsaid.

'We will meet again.'

I hope this is a promise between us.

17 December, Year 21

~by BTSxPando

The people waiting for the first bus rubbed their hands from the cold wind. I looked at the ground while holding my backpack strap tightly. I tried to make eye contact with no one. It was a country town where bus comes 2 times a day. Far away, I saw the first bus coming.

I got on the bus following the crowd. I did not turn back. If there is something desperately I want, I barely get a hold of it. When all I have left is to escape, there are always followed conditions. Do not look back. The moment you turn back, all your hard work would be gone. Turning back - that is suspicion, lingering, and also fear. The moment you withstand that, you are able to escape.

The bus took off. I didn't have any plan. There wasn't anything I was desperate for nor did I get something from which I need to escape. It was more of thoughtlessly escaping. Mother's tired face, confused and lost sister, sick father. House that demanded sacrifice and peace due to hard family situations, me who is trying to ignore it all and try to live. And mostly poverty.

If anyone asks if poverty is a crime, they'll say no. But is it? Poverty wears everything away. The precious belongings become nothing. It leads you to give up things you would not otherwise give up. You suspect, fear, give up, and acknowledge it.

In a few hours, the bus would stop at a familiar bus stop. It has been one year since I left, without making any farewell. And right now, I'm going back without any notice. I tried to remember my friends' faces. I lost contact with everyone. How is everyone doing? Will they be happy to see me? Will we be able to smile all together like before? Because of the fog that was covering the window, I was unable to see the outside scenery. On top of that, I slowly moved my fingers.

'You must survive.'

11 April, Year 22

~by @papercrowns

I was rummaging around for a t-shirt, but Taehyung reached his hand behind and picked up a shirt. It was a t-shirt with the same printed letters as the one i was wearing at the moment. With an awkward laugh, Taehyung removed his torn t-shirt. In the faint glow of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I caught a momentary glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked gaze. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.